Over the last month, I’ve been thinking about how important friendship is. My friend Sharona tells me we are social beings and that studies show a lack of friends actually shortens life expectancy. As I have grown older, friends seem more important to me than ever and yet it is harder to make new friends at my age. Perhaps that is because as we age, we slip into being more isolated. Two months ago I joined the Berkeley City Club because it is closer to home to exercise than Oakwood gym in Lafayette which was a 10 mile drive each way. I’d been a member of Oakwood since I recovered from my broken hip in 2009. I remember when I asked my doctor what I could do to avoid further broken bones, he told me to join a gym. He cautioned me that his wife told him one has to like the gym or you won’t go. So I traveled around the area visiting gyms and sniffing their locker rooms. Oakwood is where I ended up. In the last couple of years, my “exercising” had mostly become chair yoga classes twice a week. I had buddies in the class, friendly people I’d see each time. We’d greet each other by name and over the years, they became my friends, even though we didn’t know much about each other. On my last day in the class, I didn’t want to lose these long time buddies. So I told Kathy, one of them, I wanted to keep up our friendship. She did too and so we exchanged contact information. A couple of weeks ago, I invited her over to see my garden and took her to lunch at my new gym. Then she invited me to her house in Lafayette to have lunch and see her garden. It is so fun to get to know the story of someone who is already a friend. I feel lucky to have made the transition and to have Kathy as my friend.
Now at the Berkeley City Club, I’m already getting to know the women in my fitness classes. A couple of weeks ago, Denise, the instructor in one class had us go around the circle and say our names and what we liked best to do at BCC. Last week I got invited to join a group of fitness buddies who have lunch together once a month as the restaurant. The group is called the “Use it or Lose it” group referring to our fitness but also the $30 we are charged at the restaurant, encouraging us to eat there. Here again, we went around the table introducing ourselves and telling one thing about us. It was incredible to learn about the interesting lives they have had. I already feel welcomed and a part of the BCC women. I look forward to making new friends there.
But like the plaque on Bob’s wall says, “Friendship: Make New Friends, But Keep the Old. The New Are Silver, The Old Are Gold.” I am so grateful for my friends! They are my treasures.
