Christmas at our house

Once again the family gathered at our house.  I’m always honored and actually thrilled they want to come.  Erik arrived a week before Christmas.  Paul and family came four days before Christmas.  And the family participation was completed when Arne and family came from Palo Alto on Christmas Eve.  We all crowded into our house celebrating the biggest holiday being together.  It was the first time we were altogether since Erika’s graduation party in June 2024.  We were twelve for dinner on Christmas Eve as Justin, Arne’s friend joined the family.  After dinner, the tradition has become watching a movie.  This year, the group chose “Home Alone.”  We packed into the living room to watch.  After that, we brought out the air mattress and piles of bedding so Arne and family could find places on the sofas and the floor for Christmas Eve sleeping.  

Paul and Paula volunteered to make breakfast on Christmas morning.  It is different than it used to be when the grandchildren were little.  Now, they have to be woken up and prodded to open their stockings.  As all of them are now teenagers, sleeping late is their way.  We started opening the pile of presents one at a time around 9:30 and didn’t finish until after 12:00.  It is a time of that always falls into something close to chaos as we all sit around watching the festivities.  Around noon, Karna gathered up their gifts, the children and Arne and Boba, the dog and they depart for the other grandmother’s house for more presents and lunch.

Here, we all tired out from the intense morning of togetherness around the tree, we all found something quiet to do.  Paul and Paula made lunch for us and then they cooked dinner too as I was too tired to do it.  It is wonderful to have them step up and help out with the meals.  

This Christmas, I’ve enjoyed watching the grandchildren.  Each one is unique, fully themself.  Liam is clearly happiest in Bob’s shop where he goes as soon as he can.  This year, all he got for Christmas were tools for use in the shop.  Currently he is excited about the metal lathe, and is cutting threads in pipes.  Elsa was busy in the kitchen baking gingerbread cookies and making frosting and decorating the gingerbread men.  Usually all the granddaughters love to bake and decorate cookies.  But this year Elsa alone was busy doing this.  Sonja stepped up to help with dinner preparations.  When I called to Bob to carve the Christmas ham and he didn’t come, Sonja stepped up and carved the roast.  She isn’t afraid to take on new tasks and is happy to help out.  Her focus has been on gourmet food and we ate in the Japanese restaurant on 4th Street, in the Burmese restaurant in Palo Alto, in Saul’s deli in North Berkeley and Benchmark Pizza in Kensington.  This year, Erika was more reserved than before, spending much of her time reading a very thick book she brought.  She and Paul did step up and wash the dishes from the dinner and one night played music together.  I enjoyed watching Erika on a walk we did a couple of days after Christmas.  She ran ahead, bursting forth in a fast sprint to see how fast she could run.  The electronic road sign recorded her at 14 mph.  And the next time I spotted Erika, she was up a tree, way high up.  Funny girl.  

I love to see each of them doing what they love.  It was a great joy to be together with the family for Christmas.  On the 5th day of Christmas, very very early, Paul and family plus Erik departed for Palm Springs to catch some sunshine and explore the desert of California.  Bob and I sat in the quiet and remembered the highlights of the wonderful busy time we all had together and I wondered if I am getting too old for such excitement.  .

                                                

    

                        

Celebrating the Season

 This last week before Christmas week has been extraordinary!  We have been out for five out of seven days.  Fitting into this rigorous social schedule, I’ve managed to shop and stock up the larder for the coming big meals when the family comes to us for Christmas.  I’ve wrapped Chrisatmas presents and even gone to my exercise classes.  

The social rush began last Tuesday night when Bob and I went to the Berkeley City Club Holiday Party.  People were dressed up in holiday finery- sequins abounded along with holiday sweaters..  There was a piano player up on the stage tinkling out holiday tunes enhancing the atmosphere.  And a great holiday buffet dinner.  I enjoyed this Mixer more than the last one in that I had more reasonable expectations and just enjoyed chatting with women from my exercise classes.

Wednesday was a day off.  Thursday night we were invited to Sharona’s together with Audrey and Christos.  The lively conversation wound around a number of themes, but best was stories of their autumn trip to Europe.  Erik arrived from D.C. just in time for dessert.  

Friday night was a special Christmas party with church folks.  The house was over the top decorated with elegant decorations.  Everywhere I looked there were beautiful interesting  Christmas treasures from around the world.  I enjoyed spotting their Christmas ornaments which included little bubbling lit tubes which I remembered from my childhood tree.  Elena and Anthony had the whole party choreographed:  first was their singing of unusual Christmas songs, then eating and drinking, then we all sang Christmas carols together and finally we had a White Elephant gift exchange.  It was all good fun.

Saturday, we went to the San Francisco Gay Men’s chorus at Zellerbach on the UC campus.  I didn’t know what to expect but hoped for a good spirited concert.  That was it in spades!   I guess everyone expected that as the noise the audience made before the concert began was the loudest I’ve ever heard.  When the curtain went up, there was a large chorus of perhaps 150 gay men all wearing pink satin hats.  The first number, “Pink Christmas,”  flaunted pink with elves dressed in pink and even a pink Santa.  The music and show was exuberant.  There was a chorus of a dozen reindeer and three red-nosed Rudolph’s and a jingle (a collective) of a dozen Santas that juggled mirrored disco balls as they pranced around.  My favorite was their rendition of  Silent Night.  As the music began, the chorus began signing not singing.  It brought tears to see these men so perfectly in unison moving their hands so gracefully.  It brought tears to my eyes.  The second verse was even more powerful as the music group was silent.  So the whole hall was silent with 150 men signing.  They moved from that into a Lady Gaga extravaganza for their final number.  We enjoyed the concert very much.

From there we went to BART to go to Nancy and Larry’s for dinner.  Nancy called to tell us there was a power failure at their house.  That explained the delays we experienced getting in to the City.  Several stations were closed.  Getting off at 16th St., it was lit but a couple of blocks up the hill, it became very dark.  At one corner we passed a stalled out Waymo taxi confused by the dark.  Nancy’s house was lit with a variety of candles.  As our eyes accommodated, we enjoyed the ambiance the candles created.  Nancy was clever and cooked her dinner on the gas stove.  It was a dinner we won’t soon forget together with our dear friends.

On Sunday our socializing was over, we were busy with last minute details before the family arrived.  Karna invited Paul and family to their house in Palo Alto to celebrate Liam’s 13th birthday.  Erik, Bob and I also went down to give Liam a hug for his birthday earlier in the afternoon.  I had a nice walk to a park with Elsa.  Later, we greeted the tired family as they got here around 9:30 pm and our family Christmas began.  

                                                            

                                                         

Preparing for Christmas

Usually, I give over the whole month of December to prepare for Christmas.  This year, the preparation began even earlier.  The last Sunday of November, Thanksgiving weekend, Arne and family wanted to come over to have the kids decorate our Christmas tree. That’s never happened before. “Gulp,” I said, “Bob we better go to Home Depot after church and get our tree,” which we did. The family arrived mid-afternoon and Bob and Liam were soon working to prepare the tree to go into the tree stand.  Elsa and I began to look at the bins of my decorations.  When the tree was up, she and I decorated the tree.  It was a very sweet time.  She put on the lights and wrapped the gold ribbon around it as I pulled out ornaments.  She wanted to know the history of each one.  After a while , she said “you really have a lot of ornaments.”  I took that as a hint to stop talking so much and just to put on more ornaments. I’ve not had anyone help me decorate the tree for a long time.  So that was a thrill.  Liam had retired to the shop to work on the metal lathe which is his current passion.  Finally when he came up, just before they left, he added a group of bright red balls to the tree.  It was a wonderful gift to me to have them here to help.  This year our Christmas decorations were out early, starting my preparations.  I was happy to give them Advent calendars which Liam had requested.  

The weeks that followed have been wonderful.  Time to attend my favorite exercise classes at the Berkeley City Club.  I like to invite friends to come and experience my pleasures.  I invited a couple of swimmer friends to swim and have lunch.  I joined them in the pool and swam ten lengths, the longest swim I’ve done in probably more than 30 years.  We had a lovely long lunch celebrating a friend’s birthday.  But I was too enthusiastic and have suffered hip muscle strain.  I guess I have to remember how old I am. 

Music has been very present in our lives.  We have attended wonderful concerts, including a brass concert in the past weeks.  We especially enjoyed watching on zoom Erika  playing her clarinet in the Winter Wind Concert at Smith College.  

I started my Christmas baking and now sweet smells fill the house.  I do love to bake and so far I have made pumpkin bread, persimmon bread and a batch of cherry-chocolate chip oatmeal cookies for Arne.  I have collected most of my Christmas presents and now must just wrap them. .  Bob wrote the printed Christmas card and I finished writing personal notes on them all.  This year, I am inspired in my artistic endeavors from a class at the Berkeley City Club.  Some bright red Christmas card envelopes from last year’s cards caught my fancy and made a collage in my art journal. 

This week, we have four nights out for which I am excited.  Erik will be here in three days.  Paul and family come on Sunday and then the Christmas spirit will have arrived.   I am thrilled they still want to come and happy to make the preparations for them.  Christmas Eve, Arne and family come and it will be fun to have the whole family here.  I will be the first time we’ve been altogether since Erika’s graduation party in June 2024.  I look forward to special times, going to the Berkeley Bowl, cooking, baking and walking, if it’s not raining.  Preparing is a big part of Christmas celebration.  I’m enjoying taking it slowly and in stride.  Anticipation is the word for me now.  I look forward to making special memories this Christmas.  

                                                                        

 

Thanksgiving Rhythms

Thanksgiving has been one of my favorite holidays for a long time.  I love its focus on gratitude and eating together.  I love sitting together after the meal and just mellowing out chatting with those feeling the same.  Maybe it’s the amino acids in the turkey meat, maybe it’s the full stomachs, maybe it’s just the day and the company.  Maybe it’s the perfect blend of quiet and activity.

In recent years we’ve been invited to my friend Sharona’s for Thanksgiving dinner.  This year was no exception.  She lives in a small backyard house thats hardly bigger than a double garage and yet she somehow can handle having a lot of people.  This year, we were only fifteen at her long table.  Over the years, she has created a Thanksgiving manual in which she has written down what must be done each day and even the time it needs to be done to create a stress free Thanksgiving dinner.  So while she and her daughter Rebecca worked hard for four days buying and preparing the feast and setting her table, here at our house, it was very quiet.  I’ve been thinking about how important to quiet is.  It’s one of the gifts of being old, I think, really enjoying the quiet times and just being peaceful.  Bob and I went for a walk instead of eating lunch wanting to build up our appetites.  

Four o’clock was the time we were to arrive.  Sharona’s family made up two thirds of the guests and five of us we there as special friends.  I always feel honored to be included in a family tradition, especially Thanksgiving.  The noise level raised as everyone arrived and we all talked.  The young grandkids seemed just to bounce around adding to the general excitement

Sharona sets a beautiful table.  She has dried pressed leaves she’s collected on walks for place cards.  The pale green napkins matching the tablecloth are folded fancily and put on the plate.  As soon as we are seated, she has a tradition of naming those who have died in the previous year in the circle of our lives.  Everyone is invited to participate.  How special it is to remember them in the context of thankfulness.  And then the meal begins.  There are so many different dishes of food, I had to be careful not to take too much of any one thing lest my plate would overflow.  There were two plates of turkey, light and dark meat, cranberry sauce, gravy, roasted potatoes, mashed sweet potatoes tasting of bourbon, green beans with French fried onions on top.  Brussel sprouts shredded and spiced,  pans of stuffing, and biscuits.  The quiet returned as we all turned to our food and then slowly the conversations began again.  After dinner as the plates were cleared, people got up and moved around, changing seats to be near to someone they hadn’t yet spoken with.  And the desserts were brought out.  After the feast, somehow we all had appetite left for more.  Three of us had brought desserts.  There were two pans of persimmon pudding, one with raisins and one without, apple tartane, chocolate pie, pumpkin cheesecake and Tunisian almond cake, plus whipped cream and vanilla ice cream.  Such abundance! I know we all felt truly fortunate and blessed in so many ways.  In these hard times, it is especially sweet to be together focusing on each other and all of our incredible blessings.  Four hours after we arrived, we all piled up plates of left-overs and departed.

Back home, the quiet stood out in stark contrast  to the whole Thanksgiving feast.  As an introvert, a balance between activity and quiet is important to me.  I need the quiet,  just to be, to access my inner calm and peace and to reflect.   I find I’m slow to process happenings, finding their gifts only in my quiet time.  Thanksgiving day was a perfect balance of quiet and meaningful fun activity and then quiet again.  I’m especially grateful for that balance.  

Friendship

 Over the last month, I’ve been thinking about how important friendship is.  My friend Sharona tells me we are social beings and that studies show a lack of friends actually shortens life expectancy.  As I have grown older, friends seem more important to me than ever and yet it is harder to make new friends at my age.  Perhaps that is because as we age, we slip into being more isolated.  Two months ago I joined the Berkeley City Club because it is closer to home to exercise than Oakwood gym  in Lafayette which was a 10 mile drive each way.  I’d been a member of Oakwood since I recovered from my broken hip in 2009.  I remember when I asked my doctor what I could do to avoid further broken bones, he told me to join a gym.  He cautioned me that his wife told him one has to like the gym or you won’t go.  So I traveled around the area visiting gyms and sniffing their locker rooms.  Oakwood is where I ended up.  In the last couple of years, my “exercising” had mostly become chair yoga classes twice a week.  I had buddies in the class, friendly people I’d see each time.  We’d greet each other by name and over the years, they became my friends, even though we didn’t know much about each other.  On my last day in the class, I didn’t want to lose these long time buddies.  So I told Kathy, one of them, I wanted to keep up our friendship.  She did too and so we exchanged contact information.  A couple of weeks ago, I invited her over to see my garden and took her to lunch at my new gym.  Then she invited me to her house in Lafayette to have lunch and see her garden.  It is so fun to get to know the story of someone who is already a friend.  I feel lucky to have made the transition and to have Kathy as my friend.  

Now at the Berkeley City Club, I’m already getting to know the women in my fitness classes.  A couple of weeks ago, Denise, the instructor in one class had us go around the circle and say our names and what we liked best to do at BCC.  Last week I got invited to join a group of fitness buddies who have lunch together once a month as the restaurant.  The group is called the “Use it or Lose it” group referring to our fitness but also the $30 we are charged at the restaurant, encouraging us to eat there.  Here again, we went around the table introducing ourselves and telling one thing about us.  It was incredible to learn about the interesting lives they have had.  I already feel welcomed and a part of the BCC women.  I look forward to making new friends there.

But like the plaque on Bob’s wall says,  “Friendship:  Make New Friends, But Keep the Old.  The New Are Silver, The Old Are Gold.”  I am so grateful for my friends!  They are my treasures.                                                        

                                                                            

In the Presence of Greatness: Nobu Tsujii

My Music buddy, Sharona, and I went to our first of the season concert at Zellerbach on the U.C. Berkeley campus tonight.  First, we had a lovely relaxed dinner at my club.  Neither of us knew anything about the pianist.  We’d chosen the concert strictly for the program.  Our seats were the best in the house, in the second row of the Mezzanine on the left center.  We both had perfect views of the stage.  

The woman next to us primed us for the performance.  She and her husband had gotten tickets 5 months ago.  She came up from Cupertino and has held this performer, Nobuyuki Tsuujii, in awe for a long time.  He is blind from birth, that really sets him apart and also a winner of many international competitions.  We were excited to hear him.  The first piece wasn’t my favorite, but the second was Beethoven’s Sonata No. 29, the Appassionata.  As the musical emotions flowed, I wondered about how he could learn such a piece with so many notes.  I wondered about how his brain is wired, since the visual cortex takes up so much space and his would be rewired for touch and sound perhaps.  As he ended, he immediately stood up and the crowd roared and cheered.  The second half was equally amazing and he showed his virtuosity, playing the lyrical Tchaikovsky Nutcracker Suite and then a Prokofiev Piano Sonata.  As he played, I realized I was listening to a true genius, a savant Sharona called him.  His talent is astounding.  I wondered about how his parents nurtured his great gift and how his teachers taught this blind student?  

Best of all were the encores, he played three!  The first, the 1st movement of the Moonlight Sonata, left the crowd cheering and clapping wildly.  He came out again and played a second encore, a jazzy piece.  The crowd loved it and loved him and he smiled the biggest most beautiful smile, one so big it was easy to see from a distance.  When he came out the third time to continuous applause, he sat down and played Lizst’s La Campenella, a dizzinngly fast piece.  The crowd loved it and the applause never stopped.  But this fourth time when he came out, he put down the lid on the piano and we knew it was over. He loved the cheering crowd and the crowd loved him.  What a night!  What an amazing performance.  It’s one II won’t forget for a long time.  I’m going to watch the documentary made about him, “Touching the Music” on Netflix.  I know I was in the presence of greatness tonight!  Back home I studied a sculpture we were given by our friend in E. Lansing of a big ear.  He made a big one like this one for Stevie Wonder, another blind musician.  Now it will also remind me of Nobu Tsujii and the wonders of what human potential is.  

Expanding my Vision

 After my water aerobics class this morning, refreshed, I headed out to N. Berkeley BART.  I always love riding BART because among other things, it expands my worldview.  Today, a woman in a light purple T-shirt sporting the Golden State Valkyries logo on it came and sat next to me.  I had to tell her I liked her shirt because I liked the Valkyries so much.  The Golden State Valkyries is a first year team in the Women’s NBA based in San Francisco.  They play at Chase Center, like the Golden State Warriors.  I asked her if she went to their games.  She said yes, she had season tickets.  I told her I cried when I saw the first game on tv because the women were so strong.  My seatmate said, we ARE strong!!!!! All my life I’ve been told and under the impression that women are the second sex, less strong and in my head less important than the other sex.  But these women basketball players were beautiful and feminine and so very very strong.  The team did incredibly well this first year.  

I was riding BART to go to Oakland to meet Arne for lunch.  We were in touch by text when I got there and I walked the couple of blocks to the restaurant.  I got there first, at least I thought so, so I sat down and got a table.  I texted Arne I was in the restaurant and he texted back, he was too.  But I didn’t see him anywhere.  He said you’re in the wrong Mexican restaurant, I’m across the street.  So I got up and told the waiter, I was in the wrong restaurant and found Arne in his favorite place, Las Bonitas.  It’s a restaurant where everyone knows him, remembering him from when he worked nearby.  He ordered me fish tacos.  I was famished from my exercise, I guess.  Goodness me, did they taste good.  We had a nice time chatting about this and that and even the other thing.  I told him all about the Berkeley City Club and all the fun things I’m doing.  He told me about how his family is going to Tahoe for skiing the week after Christmas.  Then how he just got invited to play volleyball in Tucson, so the family is going there for a brief time just before school starts up again.  They’ll see my sister and her family.

Walking back to BART, he told me he really likes this restaurant not only because the food is good and they are so nice but because they feed homeless men on occasion by letting them eat for free.  I followed him into the BART building where it was like he was a rock star.  Everybody stopped and greeted him so warmly and me too.  He took me up to the 10th floor to see a CPS grad from his class who is Chief Counsel of BART.  We found her and she came out and greeted me so warmly.  I guess Arne’s charm is rubbing off.  She remembered how much fun she had in Marine Biology.  Yes, it was fun, but I reminded her you learned a huge amount.  The world down in Oakland felt very warm hearted and loving to me.  But, hey that’s just what Arne brings out in people.                                                                

Painting Night at BCC

 Since I joined the Berkeley City Club,mostly so I’d have a closer gym, I’ve been overwhelmed with the wonderful variety of activities they have.  They’re actually not a gym, but a social club, with gym classes.  Today, for example, I went to Cardio-Core class.  It was very challenging but I did what I could and hope over time to get more fit.  

Nancy came over for lunch. It was great to see her and we had a lovely time together, eating soup, then sitting in my garden soaking in the beauty and peace.  After she left, I took a two hour nap..  Restored, I went to the Berkeley City Club for the second time in one day, to go to the Painting Night.  I arrived early, as I am still worried about parking.  I sat in the beautiful lobby for a while, then went up to the Bar and had a Diet Coke but I didn’t need to do that. When  I wandered down to the room where the art class was, I was amazed.  There were 8 long tables, each with three easels at them and a set up for painting at each place.  There were delicious salmon canapes and cucumber sandwiches plus more. At another spot there was wine and assorted soft drinks, all complimentary.  If I wanted I could order food from the kitchen to be delivered.  Such amazing service just for our pleasure.

The Painting Class wasn’t full but there were a wide variety of ages and two grandmothers with their junior high granddaughters.  One set sat next to me.  I thought how wonderful it was to share this activity!  How I wish Elsa were closer!!!   The.teacher began to paint and we were to copy what she did.  Mostly I could do it, though not so skillfully.  We were provided everything we needed:  paints, brushes, the canvas and the painting to copy.  As I walked around, I saw the a number of the attendees did their own thing.  The lady right behind me did a beautiful painting of her garden.  One is free to paint as we wish.  

I was overwhelmed with this complimentary activity.  I got tears in my eyes because of how special I felt.  They could not have done anything else to make us feel welcome and honored.  And to think, I thought the Berkeley City Club was just a gym.  It is so much more. 

                                                                

                                                

Seventeen Days in Michigan

 I’m just back from seventeen wonderful days in E. Lansing.  Though with the two travel days I was only gone nineteen days, it seems like I was there for a month or two.  The time was filled with many of my favorite things.  First and foremost was spending time with our busy family.  Mostly we saw them at dinners where we gathered together, learning what their days were like and sometimes getting into long conversations which I relished.  Often the dinners were brief and missing one or two of us as it seems lots happens at the MAC at 6 pm.  At several dinners, Erika FaceTimed us from Northampton.  It was fun to have her included in the dinner conversation.  One time, I pulled up my phone to show her a photo of something I’d done.  Modern technology is really something. 

The weather was great and I enjoyed many walks.  Often I walked a loop around the neighborhood and enjoyed watching the trees turning more colorful each day.  We had several wonderful walks in forests where the light filtering through the golden leaves on the tall forest trees was very special.  We got to go to two of Sonja’s Cross-Country meets.  The weather at the last one was very dramatic with a storm approaching giving a dark gray background to the colorful trees.  Luckily, the rain held off until the race was over, but then the sky opened up and it even hailed!  Leaving the site, there was an amazing intense double rainbow.  

I loved going to the MAC, the gym, for Water Aerobics with my all time favorite teacher and walking on the track.  This time I even had a couple of massages that healed year long pains in my hip.  

I loved going to Bible Study at the church where we’ve attended for more the fifteen years when we’re in town.  I even got to teach a session, which was very fun for me.  The group always welcomes me like a long lost friend.  

I had a variety of adventures with new and old friends ranging from meeting for coffee and conversation to going to the No Kings demonstration at the Michigan capitol.  It was quite an event with many people in costumes.  Later I learned what that was about: tactical frivolity it is called where the costumes negate any sense of fear or hatred.  I have mixed feelings about it since the point of resisting seems so important and serious to me.  

Michigan does feel like home to me now.  I think my positive attitude coupled with letting go of any expectations made for my good experience.  I loved all the activities and the space I had for naps.  We are blessed by the community of friends we’ve gathered and of course spending time with family.  

                                                                            

     

                            

                                                                        

Back in E. Lansing

 We’re back in E. Lansing for our October visit.  Our travel, last Sunday, was uneventful and as pleasant as it could be.  The trip took 12 hours, door to door.  We were warmly greeted by Paul and Paula and quickly settled back in our little green house which is decorated for Halloween thanks to Paula.   Sonja has been living here while their house is being seriously renovated and remodeled.  

After three days here, I felt like I’d been here for three weeks!  It is easy to settle back in since I have so many memories and know which activities to do.  Monday morning, I went shopping to Trader Joe’s.  It’s just like being in Berkeley.  Then in the afternoon, I went to Bible Study at Edgewood.  I’ve been going to this group for many years.  I was warmly welcomed back which touched my heart so much I volunteered to lead a session while I’m here.  I do love the folks in this group, they’re honest seekers of truth and very loving.  I walked home with our neighbor Ellen and learned what she has been doing.  Mondays and Wednesdays Paula cooks and so she did on Monday night.  We had a delicious chicken curry.

Tuesday I did Water Aerobics at the MAC.  The redone pool is lovely and the class is the same with Becky, the teacher, encouraging us through our exercises.  Bob played pickleball on Wednesday while I cooked a lasagna for dinner.  Thursday, I went to Detroit with a group of friends to plant daffodils in front of a Detroit Public Library.  It’s something I’ve done for years now.  We have lunch in a different restaurant each time.  This year we went to a West African Restaurant, Baobob, on a redeveloped street in Detroit. We met Connie and Jim’s long time memoir writing teacher and her partner there and the 7 of us had a very long and wonderful conversation.  I was inspired to hear of the positive things different people are doing to keep the Democratic point of view strong.  At one point, Nancy, the teacher, asked us what was in our deepest hearts is the hardest thing about our political situation now.  The answers to this great question sparked even more good conversation.  

Friday was the MSU Homecoming Parade and so it goes.  Wonderful traditions that we do each year!  It is very special to have time with Sonja who is super busy with her 4 AP classes, a college German class, two sports and many clubs.  She seems happy and also seems mostly able to balance all her activities.  Ahh, youth, I think.  

Each day I walk the mile loop around the neighborhood and enjoy watching how the trees are changing each day.  My life here is relaxed and I enjoy each day.  

Red Carpet

 For some years now, we’ve gone to 3 or 4 performances each year at either Berkeley Rep or Zellerbach Cal Performances with our friends Bill and Christney MacGlashan.  The first performance of this season was this afternoon at Zellerbach.  We met at the Berkeley City Club for lunch first.  I enjoyed showing them around “my” new club.  From there, we walked the block and a half to Zellerbach.  I didn’t know what to expect from the Paris Opera Ballet’s North American premier performance of “Red Carpet.”  It had been advertised extensively. But as we entered the hall, there were people passing out orange foam ear-plugs.  But the hall was full, maybe sold out.  Hmmmm.

The program notes call Red Carpet an invitation.  It was a collaboration with Chanel for the costumes, which unfortunately I couldn’t see because the lighting was so dim.  The total performance was in gray for me.  The sound (I hesitate to call it music) was the most prominent feature of the performance.  There was a 4 piece ensemble:  a cello, a string bass, drums and various wind instruments played one at a time.  The most striking thing about the performance was the  insufferably loud music even with earplugs in and my fingers over my ears.  It hurt.  It vibrated my body.  It shook me up, not in a good way.  It was repetitive and boring.  It took me half of the hour long performance to get over the music and notice how very beautiful the dancing was.  There were 13 dancers much of the time in body leotards so they looked naked from the mezzanine where we were sitting.  I tried to make a story out of this.  It wasn’t intended as a story, just as emotional impressions of the choreographer.  I needed to make sense of it.  It seemed to me a study in contrasts in human life:  dark and light, chaotic and ordered, male and female, hell and heaven (complete with angelic voices for heavenly part just in case we missed the point).  The ugly dark chaotic part reminded me of the current times in which we live- ugly, mean and vulgar.  The dancing was truly beautiful and I wondered why the music was mostly so ugly. 

                                                                                

I wouldn’t recommend this ballet to anyone.  It was too painful.  The gift was it was so short.

Field Hockey

 Back in the day, when I was in High School, there were no girls’ sports.  It was before Title 9.  But we had Physical Education every day and we rotated through different sports.  My favorite was Field Hockey.  I loved the free running back and forth, the marking of the sticks, the hitting of the ball.  I didn’t like sports much but this was the exception I remember.

Now Elsa has joined the Field Hockey team at Palo Alto High School where she is a sophomore.  Yesterday I went down to Palo Alto to watch her play in a game against La Loma at 5:15.  It was an adventure for me as I took public transportation.  I didn’t want to drive home in the dark on the crowded freeway and I wondered how this other way might work.  I took BART south to Millbrae, the end of the line and there I transferred to the CalTrain which runs from San Francisco to San Jose, down through the Peninsula.  Arne helped me find the times and the trains to take.  It all worked out beautifully and I got to Palo Alto just at 5 pm.  Arne was to pick me up there and take me with him to her game.  The only problem was finding him on the platform.  I did eventually and we got to the field just before her JV game started.

It was so fun watching Elsa in her green jersey number 1, run all over the field.  She is on the right back and played the whole game.  She looked so happy and strong running here and there and making blocks and hitting the ball to other players.  Her posture is straight backed and beautiful.  Her team had it together and won the game 7-0.  As the light grew more angled, everything glowed and we even spotted a rainbow up in the cloudy sky.  After the game was over, the team had to put away all the equipment.  The girls knew just what to do.  Karna told me where to stand so I’d be able to see Elsa.  She came running over, to put away her stick in the locker and saw me and smiled and waved and said “Hi Gramma.”  That was it.  She knew I came and seemed happy for it.  I got in Arne’s car and he dropped me off at the CalTrain station and I took the train to Millbrae and BART back to Berkeley.  It was 5 hours in transit, coming and going, but for me it was worth it to see my granddaughter strong and happy playing at a sport she has come to love.  

Joining the Berkeley City Club

 Two weeks ago I formally joined the Berkeley City Club.  It’s a beautiful facility near the University and even has a parking lot.  The building was designed by Julia Morgan and built in 1932 as a women’s residence for the University.   The place is incredibly beautiful with charming details everywhere. Lots of nooks to sit in and relax and enjoy chatting or reading. But for me, it’s really a change of gyms.  Fifteen years ago I joined Oakwood Athletic Club in Lafayette and have been a dedicated member since.  For years I went three times a week, working out on the machines and taking classes.  More recently I have just been taking Chair Yoga twice a week.  There was quite a nice little community of gym friends I’d made.  On my last day in yoga, I thanked David our quirky teacher, telling him “he’ll always be my first yoga teacher.”  I was very sad to leave several people and we exchanged contact information and I hope we’ll stay in touch.

The motivation to change was mostly because of the 9 mile drive along windy Grizzly Peak and then a drive on a busy freeway.  I can do it now, but I was thinking of 5 years from now when driving will be even more difficult.  So for the past two weeks, I’ve been taking as many gym classes as I could, getting to know which ones I’ll want to attend regularly.  So far I’ve loved them all:  Cardio and Core is challenging and reminds me of my weekly workout with Karen; Aqua Zumba is water aerobics in the gorgeous Julia Morgan pool and Fit for Life is a great class focusing on core strength and balance.  There is also a yoga class and a Zumba class both of which people recommend.  Plus there are many other activities:  a lovely restaurant ( Bob and I tried “Taco Tuesday” and loved the atmosphere, the food and the 30 percent discount members get), art classes, a book club, lectures, concerts and even a play group.  And so far people have been very very friendly, welcoming me with open arms.  I’m loving it and feel that the change was for the better.  

Rigoletto

 Last Sunday afternoon, Bob and I took BART into San Francisco to see Rigoletto at the Opera House.  Arne gifted us his tickets.  Neither of us had seen this opera by Verdi known for its melodic arias.  We arrived at the Opera House just as the doors opened at 1 PM to go to the free lecture which we like to do as it gives us factoids and helps us know what to listen for in the Opera.  We learned Verdi wrote this opera in just six weeks.  Afterwards, we wandered about in the grand lobby, taking our photo by the big colorful sign.  Then I bought us a sandwich at the lobby cafe to tide off any hunger pangs.  And a 1:45 we joined in the flood of people going up the stairs to find our box seats.  There is a door for each box.  Ours was “C” on the left side of the hall, so quite close to the stage.  The door opens into a little anteroom, decorated with a mirror and a table and a soft chair.  Opposite the door is a gold velvet curtain that opens into the three tired box with 8 chairs.  Our seats were in the back tier which turned out to be great because we could stand up whenever we wanted, disturbing no one.  I brought my grandmother’s pearl covered opera glasses which pleased me no end to look through.  I thought of her and how much she loved operas, like I do. 

The excitement mounted as the hall filled up.  The lights dimmed and the conductor raised her baton and the music started.  The set was stark.  A central courtyard and white buildings was a 19th century southern Italian Duke’s Palace and modified into a town for the second Act.  Then the singing began and ohhhh what wonderful music it was!  Even though the story by Victor Hugo was a bit far-fetched, the music was so melodious and beautiful.  The acting was excellent too.  Rigoletto is a court jester, teasing all the women and making jokes to amuse the Duke.  He was sung by Amartuvshin Enkhbat from Mongolia.  I thought, he was fabulous.  The program highlighted that he is the foremost baritone for this role in the world.  The singers were very international.  The Duke was sung by a tenor from China.  Gilda was sung by a Romanian soprano whose arias were breath-taking, filled with amazingly pure and beautiful extraordinary high notes.  The opera just flowed from one beautiful aria to another with many of them having a single instrument paired with the voices:  the Men’s Chorus and the brass;  Rigoletto and a solo violin, Gilda and a flute.  The incredible music just had me smiling.  Afterwards, I felt happy for days and Bob listened to the Opera on Spotify.  What a gift to be able to hear such an amazing production so near to our home.

Afterwards, walking the several blocks from the Opera House through United Nations Plaza, we were overcome by the stench of urine and the sight of a number of people hunched over that Bob told me was a sign of a fentanyl trip.  Coming home on the BART train, we had to listen to street musicians that get on the train just before the tunnel under the Bay and get off just after.  There was a young woman on the Richmond train who had a bouquet of carnations.  I noticed her sitting a couple of rows ahead of us with her flowers and extreme facial piercings.  Just before we got off, she got up and tried to give each woman in the car a flower.  Everyone refused.  When she came to me, I also shook my head no because I didn’t want to be coerced into giving her money.  But she dropped a flower on my lap and said  “I want you to have this”. The contrast between the street people on BART and the extreme opulence of the Opera is a very hard thing to hold but it is very much the reality of San Francisco.                                          

                                                            

Genetics

This past week I’ve been thinking a lot about genetics.  Some months ago I developed a hernia in my groin, a pesky walnut sized lump that never caused me any pain.  Last Tuesday I had it surgically repaired.  My sister reminded me that both mom and dad had hernias. Genetics.   She remembered and I’d forgotten.  In fact it is because of a hernia that my mom and dad met.  His mother and her mother were friends and when dad needed a place to recover from hernia surgery in his early 20’s, he ended up at my mother’s house.  I guess the beautiful girl tended the handsome sailor and they fell in love.  I wish I knew the timing, but all I know is the story.  They eloped to the Mission Inn in Riverside where they got married for the first time.  I guess I can thank dad’s hernia for my very existence.

I was dreading the surgery and surprisingly nervous about it.  When the day came, Bob took me into Kaiser Richmond hospital for the surgery.   It was scheduled at 10 AM.  I was taken right in as the surgery before mine was cancelled and  they were eager to get going.  When I was admitted, tI was directed to an oversized comfy heated chair, not a gurney, in curtained space that was my nook. I changed into the drafty hospital gown. Then began a parade of people coming in.  Nurses, with questions, a nurseto put in an IV, a technician to put on an EKG,  a resident, the anesthesiologist, the doctor and more nurses.  Everyone had a task and it was all completed efficiently.  The doctor was nice, very chatty.  He surprised me by asking what music I wanted in the Operating Room.  Very quickly, I thought of my favorite piece of classical music and out popped Schubert’s Third Impromptu.  He was taken aback, but said, he’d do what he could.  Before I knew it, I was marching down the corridor dressed just in my hospital gown, with a blanket over my shoulders covering my backside and my very large hair net over my hair.  I had my IV in my right hand.  I felt like I was in a Halloween parade.  When I arrived to the OR, I heard beautiful piano music and recognized the Schubert.  I felt very empowered, not only walking not only walking to the OR, but having the music I wanted played.   My last memory is lying on the gurney looking up and seeing a group of at least 6 doctors and nurses all dressed in blue gathered around me as the doctor began instructing them.  The last thing I heard was the anesthesiologist saying she liked my music choice and I drifted off to sleep listening to my favorite music.  When I awoke, I was back in the comfy chair and a nurse was talking to me.  He wanted me to get up and walk.  I wasn’t sure.  But he insisted and I walked to the bathroom.  He pounded my back with fast chopping hits trying to get me to burp..  Soon, I was alert and before I knew it out of there.  

Arriving at home, Bob brought me a dozen red roses when I hit the sofa and soon fell asleep.  I never did have much pain.  For two days, I medicated myself with Advil and Tylenol and it was enough and by the third day I was off meds entirely.  I’ve felt really good for the past days.  The only side effect is that I tire easily and quickly.  I guess it will take a while to regain my strength.  Mostly though I am very grateful for such an easy recovery.  I feel all the work I do to keep in shape has paid off.  I am very grateful.

                                                                                    

                                                                                    

                                                                        

24 Hours in Almaden

Last weekend the Congregational Church of Almaden Valley (formerly Almaden Valley United Church of Christ) celebrated its 60th Anniversary.  This is the church that called me to be its minister in 1999.  It is the first church I served as a called minister.  Being called by a congregational vote a big deal in the ministry.  I was ordained because I had a call to this particular church.  I was their first called female pastor as well.  I remember being very excited because I thought that the fact there were two churches sharing the building, sharing a music minister, and sharing Sunday School meant I’d have a close colleague and even though each of us would serve our own congregation we would support and help each other.  It didn’t work out that way.   I also didn’t realize then how the 61 mile commute down the busiest freeway corridor in the Bay Area would eventually wear me down.  I was full of hope, excitement and Spirit as I began.  It turned out to be the hardest thing I’d ever done partly because it was my first job in a new and challenging profession. The most difficult challenge was the Rector of the Episcopal Church we shared the building with who turned out to be a cruel and mean-spirited misogynist who undermined me at every turn.  Nevertheless, the Spirit was active in the Church and our church began to heal and grow.  And thankfully he left after I’d been there three years.  There were very many wonderful people I grew to love very much.  After nearly 5 1/2 years, when I left,  the church was in good shape and I had developed a wonderful relationship with the new Rector.  

Going back several times last year to preach for the first time in the twenty years since I left, there was only love remaining—-in my heart and in the parishioners who remembered me fondly. I found that greatly affirming.  I said to many, “So it’s true what I preached, love is the strongest most lasting force in the world.”   I was looking forward to going back for this celebration.  I was not disappointed.  It was a wonderful, positive celebration very well attended.  The fellowship hall was all decorated with sparkling lights on the ceiling with sparkles and photos on the dark blue tablecloths from the “good old days.”  The ample food was catered by the Olive Garden.  It was lovely to give and receive so many heartfelt hugs from friends in the congregation.  The highlight of the evening was a long slide show of the church’s history from its humble beginning in the Prune Shed through the many years of trials and tribulations to now.  As Debbie, the longtime moderator and the force behind creating the party and slide show said several times, “we have survived”.  And they have, though the church is very small, it still intact and the Spirit is very present there especially in the four exuberant 5 year old little girls who clearly feel the church is theirs as they ran around the edges of the party squealing and laughing.

Sunday morning, Shelly,  the current minister, and four ministers from the past gathered to lead a celebratory worship service.  We four squished into the front pew facing the church in the round,  rising to sing the hymns and participate in the liturgy then wiggling to get back in place.  I was impressed with the beauty of the liturgy Shelly created and wrote.  Best for me was the communion.  Somehow I ended up serving the kneeling congregants the bread and it reminded me of the many times I’d done that during my years there.  It was always a very joyful and spiritual time.  In the end, as I look back on the years I spent there and remember how I put my heart and soul into my work there, to have nothing remaining but love and gratitude in my heart is the best blessing I can imagine.