The Week After Christmas

 The week between Christmas and New Years Day has been a quiet one this year.  No special trip was planning It been a time of winding down from the peak of excitement which is of course is Christmas morning.  When I asked Liam what his favorite time of Christmas is, he quickly answered “Opening presents on Christmas morning.”  He is the youngest but nevertheless this year, the grandchildren slept later than ever before.  They’re growing up.  Paula made her traditional cinnamon rolls for breakfast and Arne and Liam made waffles.  We didn’t even sit down to breakfast until 9 am.  And then slowly moved over to open the presents.  Liam was very excited to give his present to Bob.  It was a really big one, fully three feet tall and all wrapped in shiny metallic blue and silver paper.  Bob played the part and opened it very slowly and methodically, testing the patience not only of Liam but of the rest of us, watching him.  It was a really big wooden build it yourself motor boat.  It’s a glue together model with instructions totally in German.  The idea is that Liam and Bob build it together.  After that, then gift exchange started.  There must have been more than a hundred presents.  In the middle of the gift opening, Nancy and Larry came over.  It’s a tradition of Christmas morning.  Paula most kindly served them cinnamon rolls and coffee.  What a lovely hostess she is!  I was thrilled by the homemade gifts that Sonja and Elsa gave to me.  And by the handmade moulded glass terrarium that fit onto a wooden tangle of roots perfectly. Erik even brought me live moss from Tacoma Park.  So special.  Paul, Paula and the girls were very generous.  Paula gave me (and Nancy got one too) felted German shopping basket she bought while in Leipzig.  Sneaky Bob got me the clippers I wanted, but then surprised me with a beautiful jacket.  The gifts were carefully and thoughtfully given.  Nancy remarked later to me that it was a pleasure watching the evident love we had for one another. After the requisite group photos, Karna packed up their sleeping bags and mats, all their presents, the kids and Arne and off they went to her mother’s house for another round of gift giving and Christmas dinner with her side of the family.  We all quieted down, I went for a walk with Erik and Paul, Paula went for a run.  Later we made a delicious Christmas dinner.  Paula wowed us by making a Buche Noel!  

    The week’s highlights:  Monday we all went down to Palo Alto to hang out with Arne and Karna.  We walked to his favorite book store (Bell’s Books) where Erik, Paul and Paula used their gift certificates.  Liam loves old books, the older the better.  In the window display were some old books.  He picked out the oldest one, a book of poems for children that was 174 years old.  I thought, “Oh, boy, that’s going to be expensive.”  But as it turned out, the woman who owns this bookstore gave it to Liam.  When, Karna, said “oh, no, let us pay.” The woman answered, “It’s my bookstore and I have 250,000 volumes here and I can do what I want with them.”  No wonder, Arne loves this bookstore.  Then we split to go out to lunch:  Arne and Erik took Liam to get pizza while the rest of us went with Karna to a Burmese restaurant for a very delicious meal. Afterwards, we all walked to the Stanford Shopping Center where I went into the lovely boutique, Amour Vert, to use the gift card Arne gave me for Christmas.  I said to the salesperson, “Csn you find me something that suits me?” And she did.  I got a lovely new outfit thanks to Arne.  Tuesday:  Bob’s brother, Paul and his wife Shelley came to brunch at our house.  All thirteen of us crowded around the table.  Paul and Paula kicked me out of the kitchen and cooked all the food, Arne did the dishes, I got off pretty easy.  It was a pleasure to see them.  It was a treasure to get a photo of three generations of Stokstad men.  Karna and Shelley really bonded, having an intense and long conversation.  Wednesday: Paul and family went into San Francisco for a lunch with his favorite judge and then toured Golden Gate Park and walked on the Golden Gate Bridge.  Meanwhile Erik and I took BART into the City and walked to Nancy’s house for lunch.  On the way back to BART, she drove us around the Mission District showing us some of the many painted murals the Mission is famous for.  I liked Balmy Lane the best.  ByThursday, most of us had come down with Elsa’s cold.  It was a rainy stay at home day and Paul made a perfect pot roast for dinner.  Paul, Erika and I went to Berkeley Rep to see the new premier play “Wuthering Heights” which did not disappoint us.  And today, Friday, it’s another rainy day, a stay at home, quiet kind of day.  It’s nice to have these mellow days to be able to reflect on all that has been happening and how wonderful it is to have all the family here making memories.  

Friday Night Before Christmas

 It’s been a wonderful week with the Michigan family and Erik here.  We’re all crowded into our house.  I find people in every nook and cranny in our house.  Each one seeking quiet so they can do their work or looking for places to read or to be peaceful.  There are a number of things that stand out for me:  Sonja making her perfect gingerbread house demanded her intense focus.  She spent three days making it and it was a pleasure to help her (mostly just by watching her).  Who knew that caramelized sugar is a perfect glue to put together the walls and roof of the house?  She said she learned that watching TikTok video.  She’d been planning this for a while and her fortitude and skill impressed me very much.  And it is a masterpiece!   Erika brought out her tenor sax and her clarinet and she has made beautiful music here.  For me, mostly it’s just having everyone here that makes me happy.  It’s relaxed, people are doing what they like to do.  I love having walks with different people, showing them the ways I walk on trails in the park or on my favorite streets.  One night, the Michigan family went to Great America and loved all the rides.  Yesterday, Liam and Elsa came over and Paul and I took them to the new Bouldering Rock climbing place just at the corner of Cedar and Shattuck.  I was amazed to see them climbing up the walls clinging like geckos or spiderpeople.  The place was new so very clean and very peaceful.  I love how the cousins helped each other up showing routes up to the top of the walls.  And our meals together are wonderful.  At one point, we were talking about a word and Erik got up to bring over the ultimate authority, our giant 1966 dictionary ( a long time family tradition).  I laughed. Liam asked if it was a Bible.  Last night some of the family went out to hear a Chanticleer concert and really enjoyed it.  I think I enjoyed hearing their enthusiasm as much as I would have enjoyed the concert.  Today, Arne and Karna and kids will come to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with us.  It will be fun to be altogether.

Christmas is Here

 It’s here!  Christmas week, the final countdown to the big day, has arrived.  All the preparations are in place and late last night the Michigan family arrived.  Now we are seven.  It’s amazing to have people in every corner of our house.  I love it that everyone is so comfortable here, they seem to take care of themselves, getting their needs met.  It’s an advantage having older grandchildren.  Now, there’s help making the meals, setting the table and even going shopping.  Sonja loves to shop and she’s quite an inspiration to me.  Erika set the table without being asked.  We’ve gone through three pots of coffee today.  The jammed full frig is already clearing out.  Tonight we’re going to make gingerbread dough to make a house.  And Argentina won the World Cup.  

Yesterday afternoon, Erik, Bob and I went to the last Philharmonia Baroque performance of the Messiah, right here in Berkeley.  It was a full three hour long performance and sparkling with energy and joy.  I am impressed with the quality of their music as are Bob and Erik now.  We all sat fully engaged, even riveted by the performance.  The night before we met some of Erik’s friends at La Mancha, a tapas restaurant on down on San Pablo.  We had a wonderful time.  Tara and Lawrence are real foodies and did all the ordering.  We started with a cheese platter, after turning down the recommended $70 bottle of wine to go with the cheese. Then the dishes just kept on coming.  When the chicken paella came, sizzling hot from the oven, I was already full.  Still we had to share a piece of cheesecake with a big side of whipped cream.  We had such a good time.  I can’t remember when I’ve been in a restaurant and ordered everything we could possibly want or eat.  I loved the experience.  The food, the company, the conversation and the atmosphere were so fun.  It’s amazing what is available just right here in Berkeley.  

I can’t wait to see what the rest of the week brings.  So far, it’s so much fun.   

Preparing for Christmas

 It’s time to prepare for Christmas in earnest.  My dear friend Nancy brought over her yearly gift of an Advent calendar November 30.  Each year it marks the start of the Christmas season of Advent for me.  It gives me great pleasure to open a window each morning, as I count down the days until Christmas.  We got our tree a few days ago, at Home Depot as usual.  We were blessed when a young man came over to help us lift the tree into the truck.  Oh, we didn’t really need his help, but how very nice a gesture it was!  It gave me hope.  Hope is the theme of the first Sunday of Advent in church.  Peace is the them of the second Sunday and though the minister resigned the day before the second Sunday of Advent, I still find peace in quiet days at home.  This morning, I finished decorating the tree and the house.  It brings me joy to have a Christmas tree and to put out decorations collected from a lifetime of celebrating Christmases—-a crèche given me by a friend and bridesmaid at our wedding, hundred year old Christmas angels given me by Helen Stork; decorations made by my mother and sister; ornaments from our time in Denmark and so much more.  Erik comes in five days and then the Michigan family arrives in a week, next Sunday.  What joy it will be to have everyone here!  Joy in the theme of the third Sunday of Advent.  I’m busy making menus for all the meals and stocking the larder.  I made a big pot of beef stew yesterday which I’ve frozen.  I can’t start my baking until the girls come to help me (or else Bob and I will eat them up before).  It is such fun to cook together and they make really fancy cookies now they’re older.  And finally the theme of the fourth Sunday of Advent is love which is the point of the whole celebration of Christmas.  Jesus was born, God’s love became incarnate.  The Christmas blessing is to the celebrate the light and love born in each of our hearts and brought into our lives and the world this season.  I am grateful that I have energy, time and resources enough to enjoy preparing for our Christmas.

A Day with Elsa and Liam

 Elsa and Liam came to spend the day with me on Friday.  It brings great joy to my heart to have my grandkids here.  I was a bit concerned that Bob was not here because Liam usually spends his time with Grandpa,  But not to worry, Liam got into the Domino Rally tiles out and began to build incredible towers and lines of dominos which would all fall in a line when the first one is pushed over.  We had breakfast and then I suggested they might tie their presents on their Advent calendars.  The Advent calendar idea came from Helen Stork, a dear friend.  She would buy little gifts for her granddaughter Elizabeth and slip them into pockets on her Advent calendar.  When our grandchildren got old enough, I made big felt banners for each of them and sewed on small rings to tie the little gifts on.   None of the grandkids are ready for me to stop.  I start collecting small gifts in July and search for much of the rest of the year.  But it’s worth it.  They seem very happy.  This year Elsa told me about how it was when she was younger.  She told me with a laugh, she remembers taking lots of gifts off at one time and hiding under her mother’s desk to open them all up.  Liam was quiet.

We walked to the Lawrence Hall of Science, a 15 minute walk.  Liam told me jokes the whole way.  Elsa walked behind lost in thought.  It wasn’t crowded at all when we got there.  But this time, it was clear to me most of the hands-on exhibits were aimed at younger children, probably 5-7 year olds.  Nevertheless the two of them had a great time.  They are familiar enough with the layout, they knew which rooms to go to.  And the very best was watching them explore and play together so happily.  I don’t know if it was because they were at the Lawrence Hall or because Liam has grown much more articulate or Elsa more mature.  In the room where there were materials for them to design rockets or airplanes to be placed on large areas with airflow, they were creative as they slowly moved from exhibit to exhibit.  They paced themselves perfectly.  Even the inevitable trip to the Discovery Store was pleasant.  They could see that the items for sale were for younger kids.  How impressed I was with their creativity and cooperation.  We finally walked home after three hours there and I made us all lunch.  We played Board games and Spite and Malice for the rest of our time together.  At the very last moment, Liam and Elsa went outside and Liam pitched the volleyball to Elsa so she could practice hitting.  They were so happy until the ball rolled under the stairs going down to the back garden.  It ended up wedged in a space about as high as the ball was tall. They got all the long sticks we had and interestingly, it was Liam who crawled under the dark stairs and saved the day.  What a wonderful pleasure it was to watch them play together and to play with them for the day.  

Back in Berkeley

                                                                    

 Today is the first day in the two weeks I’ve been back in Berkeley that I have nothing on my calendar. I’ve been surprised by how busy I’ve been, but there is so much to do here in the Bay Area.  The passion of the red sunsets and the gentle pink sunrises have delighted me.  Aside from the usual work at the Botanical Garden twice a week, there has been an Art Exhibit opening of botanical art (very very beautiful to behold) and I’ve given a talk to docents on liverworts.  The Garden is especially beautiful now with the colors of autumn.  The streets of Berkeley are also beautiful with all the changing trees with red, gold and orange leaves.   On Sundays I’ve gone to church and also I made sandwiches for the homeless there.  I’ve been walking with friends which is always a pleasure.  I’ve been to a book group discussion which was lively and fun.  I’ve been to San Francisco where my friend Nancy took me to the DeYoung museum.  We saw two exhibitions —- Ramses II exhibit which I hurried through because I found it too crowded.  Nancy said it wasn’t nearly as crowded this time as it was when she went before.  And we also saw a wonderful thought-provoking exhibit of the artist Faith Rihngold.  We walked across the plaza to have lunch in the Cal Academy of Sciences where we thought correctly it would be less crowded.  There a former docent from the Garden recognized me and we had a wonderful chat.  

The live music I’ve heard in just the last two weeks has been outstanding.   I’ve been to three wonderful music performances.  The first was a string quartet at St. John’s Presbyterian.  Sharona and I were astounded by the joy and energy of the young performers. The Viano String Quartet was amazing and we felt blessed to hear their music.  After the concert, we walked to a little restaurant on College Avenue.  I enjoyed Salmon Tacos!  Sitting outside, gazing at all the lights, the people walking by and the dark blue sky, we agreed life is good.  The second concert was an afternoon one in San Francisco.  Sharona and I took BART to the Civic Center and walked to the Symphony Hall.  Emmanuel Ax was brilliant playing Brahm’s 1st Piano Concerto.  The second movement “Andante cantabile” gave me chills.  And Sunday,  I was invited to go to a Philharmonia Baroque concert in Berkeley at our former church.  Their clean crisp playing on original instruments was wonderful.   I was surprised because when I came to my seat, there was a present on it.   In a little purple bag was a chocolate bar, a CD collection of the Philharmonia’s music and a nice note thanking me for coming and inviting me to come again.  I felt blessed by all the music and the gift and seeing my friend.

Best were the several visits from Arne after his work.  He came to just keep me company.  And then yesterday Elsa came to spend the day with me.  I was honored she wanted to spend a day of her Thanksgiving vacation here with me.  We had a great time, doing art, planting wildflower seeds, playing Boggle, visiting the Art Exhibit at the Garden and my friend Sharona where Elsa helped chop up sweet potatoes.  I was impressed by her poise and politeness. She made me proud.  Returning home, she took a long nap.  I’ve enjoyed all the happenings here and now I’m looking forward to Bob returning next week. I’ve missed him.

    

Halloween 2022

 Halloween has always been a really big deal in the Winke-Stokstad household.  October 1, Paula brings out the strings of orange lights and the Halloween decorations and goes to town decorating their house and ours.  It sets the stage for all that follows.  She loves Halloween.  This year, like other years, Paula arranged for us to go to the Halloween Extravaganza at Greenfield Village.  And then in the past, there’s been some activity every day during the week before Halloween where the girls would don their costumes and go out trick or treating.  There was Boo in the Zoo at the Lansing Potter Park Zoo.  There was Sidewalk Celebration in downtown E. Lansing where all the kids in town came in costume and trick or treated at the various businesses.  The local B and B even had a Wizard of Oz event that the high school drama department put on.   The library had something, I’m sure. I remember a scary story time at Pump House Park across the street and of course the elementary school had parties in the classrooms ending with a giant parade of all the costumed children.  So many happenings!

This year, it was different.  The girls are older now.   Paula has put away most if not all of their childhood toys.  The big outdoor jungle gym is gone.  She has redecorated the downstairs play room into a giant media center with a beautiful new gray wrap around modular sofa in front of the big screen tv.  She encouraged Erika to have a Halloween party and so she did.  Five or six of her friends came over for pizza and then watched a scary Halloween movie or two.  Paula baked up a storm producing Halloween decorated cookies, cupcakes with chocolate frosting, caramel apples and more. I made brownies with pretzels in them.  Sonja went out trick or treating with her friend from down the street for what she said would be their last time to do it (since they’ll be in high school next year).  Bob and I stayed at our house to hand out candy.  Not so many trick or treaters came to our door this year. But we .loved seeing the costumes and the smiling faces of the neighborhood children who came.  The cutest was  a 7 month old boy in a chicken costume. 

Meanwhile in Palo Alto, Elsa made her own costume.  She was a tree.  I wondered if she’d color the leaves green or red, yellow or orange.  Her textured greens are inspired. She is clearly a California girl.  Liam was a hot dog, having the same costume as his Uncle Paul, here in Michigan and the sweetest smile going. 

A Quiet Week in Michigan

Last week was a quiet one for us here in Michigan.  No trips, no parties, just lovely ordinary events.  I cooked dinner for the family on three nights.  I took the girls to their piano lessons.  I went shopping for gifts for their Advent calendars, which they told me they hoped I’d do for them again this year.  That was easier than I thought it would be.  I only had to go to three stores:  Target, Schuler’s Books and Hobby Lobby.  We had a lovely walk at the Harris Nature Center in Meridian Township with our friends, Connie and Jin Detjen.  It was a perfect fall day, crispy cold in the morning with sunshine warming up the air by 11.  Then we went to their house and had a big bowl of a perfect Gypsy soup.  Friday morning, Bob and I walked to the Broad Museum to see an exhibit Erik recommended to us on Zaha Hadid, the famous architect that designed the Broad Museum.  She was a bright creative person throughout her life, designing not only many buildings, but furniture, jewelry, shoes (including some for Adidas), clothing and even a car!  Coming out of the Museum, I spotted a bench, that looked like a shoe to me.  Clearly, she had designed that too!  Friday night, Paula’s sister and her husband arrived for a weekend visit.  We all went to a local Korean Restaurant in honor of Paula and Liz’s long ago trip to Korea.  Sitting in the restaurant, we watched an endless stream on MSU students walk by in Halloween costumes.  We agreed the best costume was a cute squirrel costume!  Saturday afternoon Bob and I took a stroll downtown and ended up walking back through the campus to Tasty Twist, where we each got a delicious soft-serve cone.  It’s one of the things I always like to do when we’re here in E. Lansing. Saturday night, everyone but Bob and me, went to a Haunted House in Jackson (about 45 minutes away).  It was advertised as the scariest Haunted House in all of Michigan.  Upon their return, they told us it was.  Sonja said she and her two friends held hands and screamed the whole way through the house.   I was very glad I didn’t have to go!  Bob and I stayed home and watched the MSU-UM football game on TV.  Last night Bob joined the family to carve pumpkins. This coming week looks to be a quiet one too.  I will take walks, go to the gym and rely upon what inner resources I can gather up. Life is made up of quiet little events that add up to a rich tapestry of love and delight.  

  

A Busy Weekend in Michigan

 It was a super busy weekend in Michigan for us!  Friday night, we went to the E. Lansing High School football game, not because we are particularly interested in high school football, but to watch Erika play her clarinet in the marching band.  They were spectacular!  Decked out in new uniforms complete with tall hats with a white plumes, their music and their precision marching was wonderful.  It’s gotta be a Midwest thing, precision marching bands, probably feeding right into the Big-10 schools’ marching bands. At 130 members, it is ten percent of the student body. 

Saturday morning, everyone but me went to the MAC, the great big gym in town, for pickleball, work outs and tennis classes.  I stayed back and practiced my sermon, honing it for Sunday’s delivery.  Then at 2:30, we left in two cars to go to Greenfield Village. We all dressed in costumes.  Sonja made made up her face with a horribly real looking scar as her costume.  Paula invited her friend Kristin and Kristin’s two children to come along.  They had fanciful costumes they had made themselves—-Kristin was a forest spirit, Laura a sci-fi princess and Grant took two days to make his costume, Adeptus Mechanicus, a cybernetically enhanced warrior.  The light was perfect for a photo when we first arrived.  Then we made our way to the train for our ride around the park.  We enjoyed the  fabulous decorations of the old-timey village.  The Wright Brothers house (the actual house) was particularly beautiful with the brightest red tree I’ve seen in front of it. We had reservations for dinner at the Eagle Tavern, a dimly lit actual old tavern with waitstaff all dressed in 19th century costumes.  All the paths throughout the park were lined with pumpkins. I learned from the ghoulish keeper of the cemetery that each week they hollowed a thousand new pumpkins and carved them.  Then the freshly carved pumpkins were placed all over the park.  Each night the pumpkins are lit by hand for the four nights for the four weeks the festival goes on.  Each time we go, there are new and different things to enjoy as well as long time favorites like “The Headless Horseman” chasing Icabod Crane, the pirates, the old timey show at the Top Hat and the scarecrows hanging on poles that come alive.  We all were nicely tired out by 9:30 pm.

Sunday morning Bob and I got to church early.  My sermon was well received which made me very happy.  I was especially touched by the kind words the minister said about me to the congregation.   Sunday afternoon, Bob and I were invited to a Jackalope party at one of the church member’s estate.  Set in a large clearing in thick woods is their lovely white house and red barn with a stage where the trio performed three long sets of easy listening music.  We sat in lawn chairs listening to the music watching falling leaves dance around in warm breezy air.  It was a magical time.  So much happened over the weekend, I am especially grateful.  

Autumn in E. Lansing

 Bob and I travelled to E. Lansing on Wednesday for our traditional visit in the Autumn.  Everything went very smoothly and our worries turned out to be for naught.  Nevertheless, it took us an entire day to get here.  With the three hour time change, we arrived about 10:30 pm and first thing rushed over to Paul and Paula’s house to see whomever was still up.  Erika was and how great it was to see her.  I think she’s a bit taller and now that she has short hair, like Paula, the resemblance to her mom is striking.  It was fun to see her recently redecorated room with a cozy corner for crocheting.  She’s making squares for an afghan.  Best was the long hug!  Bob presented Paula with the bright orange metal pumpkin he made for her from a recycled refrigerant can.  She loved it!  We didn’t stay long because it was so late.  Back at 420, the green house, there were flowers and all manner of gourmet food for our breakfasts and lunches.  It was midnight before we went to bed, but I was wired and was lucky to get any sleep at all.  The next day was cold, with a whisper of snow flurries when I drove to the library.  I love the E. Lansing library!  I found the book club read I was hoping I’d find there.  

Paul came over to chat before dinner, always a pleasure here.  Paula made a wonderful gourmet dinner for us.  Sonja was off at tennis class, so we hadn’t yet seen her.

Today dawned with beautiful a bright orange and pink sunrise, harking a warm front and warmer weather for the next three or four days.  Bob and I went to MAC (the gym) where he was just in time to be a fourth in open play pickle ball (level 3.5!).  I walked 3+ miles on the track.  Returning, I made pumpkin bread so the house would smell good.  Our neighbor called to welcome us back and told us about a new lovely Garden he’d discovered on the MSU campus.  So after a leisurely lunch (still using Paula’s wonderful food supply), we found our way to it.  It is beside the Radiology building.  It is called a Healing Garden and it has a curved walk with a pond full of bright red goldfish, with a brighter red maple tree beside it and a babbling brook alongside the walkway.  There were benches and beds of plants, all labeled.  It was a very peaceful place.  Tonight we’re going to the E.Lansing High School football to see Erika playing clarinet in the Marching Band.  I hope Sonja will come along because I still haven’t seen her.  We have a very busy fun weekend ahead of us and I’m so happy the weather will be good for all the activities.  It is very beautiful here with the yellow and orange trees in the forests and all the red maples planted in the neighborhood.  Houses, especially ours, are decorated for Halloween.  It’s such an exciting time here.

Simple Things

It’s Indigenous People’s Day here in Berkeley.  In San Francisco, it’s the Columbus Day holiday to celebrate all the big Italian population of the City..  For us, it was celebrated by Arne bringing Elsa to spend a good part of her day with us, her grandparents.  She met Bob at a Pickleball courts where she played with him.  It was the first time, she’d ever played and the two of them jumped right into the play and had a good time.  I spent the morning at the Botanical Garden.  They picked me up on their way home.  Elsa enjoyed the blueberry muffins I’d made for her.  After lunch, Elsa wanted to hit the volleyball.  I pitch the ball to her and she hits it back to me.  Thank goodness for reflexes, because the ball comes fast.  She wanted to go to a park so we did.  We drove to the Brazilian Room park not far from here and hit the ball back and forth for a good half hour.  Then we walked into the nearby Tilden Park Botanical Garden to check out their new alpine rock garden.  It is beautiful!!! 

Then Elsa plopped down on the grassy noll nearby and lay down on her back looking up to the sky.  I got down next to her and did the same thing on the cool damp grass.  We lay there side by side just enjoying the coolness, the peace and the quiet.  I remembered how used to love doing this when I was her age and it brings tears to my eyes to imagine having my grandmother getting down beside me.  She never did. We lay there a long time just dreaming and talking softly, moving into the shade as the sun hit us.  As the time approached to go back, we got up and walked through the cool shady forest area running through a big sprinkler.  It was beautiful to be there with my granddaughter sharing things that I love with her.  

Going to the Opera

 Sunday afternoon, Bob and I went to the San Francisco Opera performance of “Antony and Cleopatra’.  Our attendance was underwritten by our son Arne who gifted us with a big credit at the Opera.  Without this, we never would have gone.  Thank you, Arne!   I went on to the Opera’s website and picked out a couple of operas.  I chose Antony and Cleopatra because I thought it would be dramatic, but not knowing it was a World Premier by John Adams written in honor of the Centennial season at the Opera. Had I known, I would not have chosen this opera because I haven’t liked the John Adams works I’ve heard at the Symphony.  In fact, the only concert I’ve ever left at Intermission was one that featured compositions by John Adams.   

    I only learned the opera was by John Adams when I read the reviews.  Oh, the reviews were mostly grand.  Joshua Kosman, music critic at the SF Chronicle,  fell all over himself praising the performance.  He couldn’t say enough good things about it. I’d never seen him write such a positive review.  The NYTimes was more measured.  Nevertheless, the NYTimes gave a full page to an article about John Adams and his new opera.  It all seemed very exciting.

    So off we went to the Opera.  We rode into the City on BART.  I packed lunches for us to eat at the City Hall Park near the Opera House.  As we sat there in perfect weather looking at the beautiful City Hall and clear blue sky, munching our turkey sandwiches, we thought life is pretty darn good.  After taking appropriate selfies (for Arne), we arrived at the Opera House and were wowed by it’s elegance.  Gold leaf, thick red carpets, marble and the biggest chandelier I can remember seeing.  In the pre-opera talk, we learned the plot and a few interesting factoids whetting our appetite.  The libretto was taken from Shakespeare’s play of Antony and Cleopatra with a few additions from Plutarch.  

    In our Grand Tier seats, Bob sat wedged in, like in a vise.  The seats made tourist class on an airplane look positively spacious.  From the first notes, we knew we were in for something grand.  We loved the orchestration.  It was so evocative of the action and the emotions intensifying the drama on stage.  The 72 piece orchestra was outstanding, crisp, clear, playing wonderfully complex rhythmic music.  When Caesar was plotting his war, the music was militaristic.  When Antony and Cleopatra were together, the music approached melodic.  Very clearly, the music created the drama.  All the voices of the singers were first rate.  It wasn’t melodic or anything I’d want to just listen to.  What surprised and delighted us was the staging.  It was set in the 1930’s, no togas or elaborate queenly Egyptian gowns.  Rather suits and sleek 1930’s ball gowns.  The use of film clips shown on a black background (how did they do that?) was amazing.  There were film clips of Mussolini’s time with masses of people marching and old cars.  It was done in a most tasteful way, adding to the drama, not in any way detracting.  But my favorite of the staging was the multi-faceted black “curtains” of many sizes that opened and closed showing different windows of actions.  It was like one of those puzzles with numbers that you slide around trying to get the numbers in order.  In the end, Bob and I were riveted!  Breathless!  We loved it!!!  We were both rather surprised by our response to the opera.  Every part of it added to the whole making it much more than the sum of its parts.  Perhaps the most dramatic opera we’ve ever seen.  And by John Adams, who knew?  

A Visit from Arne and Elsa

 Whenever Elsa comes for a visit, I feel there are sparkles around.  They came this morning.  I was so happy she wanted to come visit us.  It’s a long car ride for her (and Arne).  We soon brought out the art table to the shade under Arne’s apple tree and began to do our art projects.  She had a small canvas and decided to do a sunflower.  I was impressed how she looked on line for images, then found one and copied lit with a pencil onto her canvas.  Then before I knew it, she’d painted the background and a ring of yellow petals.  In the meantime, I brought out cards for us to make.  So we began to create cards.  We cut out shapes from various papers I’d collected.  After her third one, which she spread glitter glue on, she decided it was time to spread glitter glue all over her hand to see if she could peel it off.  That girl is creative.  I kept busy making cards.  When that played out, we made lunch together and had a picnic outside on the patio.  Then we went for a walk in Tilden Park, to the swing on the big oak tree.  They left just when they needed to and I was so very grateful for a day with Arne and Elsa.  

Time

 It is good to pay attention to what is happening at this very moment.  Actually,, it is all we have.  But living in the present moment makes time a big puzzle to me.  In my perceptions, time is not linear like it is on a calendar or a watch.  Every year, back when I was teaching, the month of September seemed very long, as long as the whole rest of the year combined.  How could that be?  How could one month seem as long as eight months?   I don’t know.  I only know that this was how it seemed to me every year.   Perceptions aren’t real or are they?   Physicists say time is an illusion, yet I change and grow older each calendar year. If time is the same, how come I change?  How can that be?

Now in my retirement,  I am not as busy as I was when I worked.  Now I have the luxury to do what I want in my days.  I have the perception that each day is a long time.  There is spaciousness in each day.  Time to take a nap, if I feel like it.  I delight in slowing down and noticing nature, especially.  Just this morning I took a leisurely stroll in the Botanical Garden just enjoying the sights and sounds of nature.  I am very sensitive to the changes in light seasonally and am affected by it.  When angled light lands on my grandchildren’s heads, it makes them glow like they have a halo.  Maybe they do really have halos.  And yet, the weeks and months seem to speed by.  Long days and short months.  How can that be?  

It is now the season of autumn.  Yesterday was the autumnal equinox.  I notice the light is more angled, the days are getting shorter and shorter.  Today sunrise was at 6:57 AM.  Soon my Michigan granddaughters will the walking to school in the dark.  Back in Michigan, the trees are changing colors to beautiful reds, oranges and yellows.  In Michigan, the temperatures are cooling.  Here in California, September and October are our hottest months. All the land is very very dry and we fear wildfire.  The seasons change, one to another.  Over and over.  We call one cycle, a year.  Yet, as I look back and remember my years, they blur together.  It’s hard for me to realize that 2022 is almost over.  How can that be?

 I feel I am in the autumn season of my life.  I still have lots of vitality and warmth.  I still enjoy preaching and writing sermons.  I still enjoy working at the Botanical Garden, growing and nurturing plants to sell.  I still enjoy going on long walks with whomever will walk with me.  I still enjoy going out to lunch with friends.   I still enjoy life.  Yet, the mysterious thing called time seems to be moving along.  I know I am vulnerable.  I know I will die, but I just don’t know how or when.  The years I’ve been alive grow more and more and I get older and older.  How can that be?

So many questions.  And I thought I’d gain wisdom as I grew older.  

                

Making Cookies

Making cookies was a family tradition when I was growing up.  Today I made cookies and thought about all the cookies I have made.  My cookie section of my recipe box is stuffed full.  I remember as a young girl making lots of different kinds of cookies to make plates of fancy cookies to give away to my mother’s friends and our family at Christmastime.  I still treasure a collection of cookie cutters and cookie tins.  Later when my sister was old enough, she and I used to make cookies together.  I especially remember making rolled cut out sugar cookies with Tillie our beagle under our feet hoping for a morsel to drop on the floor.  She knew where the action was.  Our cookies were so beautiful and delicious.

I have enjoyed watching our granddaughters find pleasure in making cookies.  Early on, Erika and I would make cookies together.  I remember her climbing on the counters to reach the sugar that had to be hidden on the highest shelf, because she liked to take a spoon and eat sugar out of the bag of sugar.  As Sonja grew, she helped too, but it worked well, only when they each had a tray of rolled cookies to decorate.  Erika now makes the most beautifully decorated cookies, more beautiful than I ever made.  She likes to find recipes on-line and try them out.  I remember making chocolate chip cookies with Sonja for her to sell to the MSU college students partying in the neighborhood before football games.  She’d load up all the cookies in her little red wagon and go from yard to yard selling her cookies for $1 each.  Ever the entrepreneur, she’d make lots of money.  Elsa likes to experiment and makes her cookies without a recipe.  She takes all the ingredients she likes—-butter, brown sugar, cream, more butter, more brown sugar and I suppose flour—-and mixes them together.  She says they’re good.

Today I made chocolate chip cookies using my sister’s favorite recipe and my new cookie scooper (it’s like an ice cream scooper only smaller).  I make cookies with about 12 other people from church for a homeless shelter lunch.  We make 60 cookies, package them in special wax paper bags, folded over just so and deliver them to a coordinator.  I like to think it brings the recipients a small measure of joy to eat a homemade cookie, made with love.  

Cookies have a place in all of our hearts.  Cookies represent love to many of us.  I remember a member of the first church I served describing God as a woman who makes chocolate chip cookies.  He said whenever he smells cookies baking, he thinks of God.  So much love.  Cookies are more than just a mixture of yummy ingredients.  I like the idea of a cookie making gramma God.  

                            

Friendship

Last week I walked with a new friend..  We were both excited to get to know each other.  As we walked, in step together at a comfortable pace on the Fire Trail, we talked.  She talked about the various groups she’s a part of and how very nurturing and important they are to her.  I talked about some of my spiritual journey.  We seem to have so much in common, it is astounding.   I call her a friend not lightly.

We met several weeks ago as Bob and I were out for a walk.  We paused in front of her gate because I’d noticed it early in the pandemic and identified it as one  of the prettiest gates I’d seen.  After I took a photo of it, so beautiful with sunshine streaming through the open Japanese gate, we noticed a woman gardening.  She’d been hidden from view.  We began chatting and one thing led to another and pretty soon we were inside their yard looking at her garden.  Her husband appeared and Bob knew him from the Neighbor’s Block Party a couple of weeks before.  Soon the men disappeared inside his shop.  Ruth and I seemed to find one thing after another that we had in common.  We’re both on spiritual journeys.  We both walked a lot in the pandemic and took photos with our IPhones of things we found beautiful (mostly flowers for both of us).  We both love getting our hands in the dirt, in our own gardens and at places where we volunteer.  We both have offices full of books.  Twice now she’s brought us a bag of organic tomatoes from the organic farm where she volunteers.

I’ve been thinking about friendship recently.  It is such a gift.  My friend Sharona talks about concentric circles of friendship, from the close ones we see often, to others we might see once a quarter, to others we rarely see but still consider friends, to those people we see regularly and share a friendly word, at the gym or the pool or the garden.  I think of my bi-monthly phone calls with my dear friend Doris.  All are important because it is in our genes to have friends.  

Now my granddaughters are teenagers, friends have become extremely important to them.  So much so, we sometimes feel we’ve lost the closeness we had with them when they were younger.  But as I’ve thought about the girls, I see we have a very special place in their hearts.  I am thrilled when one of them texts me or I text them and they answer me.  Friendship is based on shared experiences and a common affection.  I am so very grateful for connection with friends from many different parts of my life.  Each friendship is a treasure, each of beautiful jewel.  And I am grateful to make a new friend at my age.  

                                    

Music in our Living Room

 Late yesterday afternoon, we had live music in our living room!  Arne asked his friend Ilana, with whom he went to Middle School, to bring her “Fearless String Quartet” to come and play a concert at Christmastime.  The timing didn’t work out.  Various other times since haven’t worked out either.   Finally, yesterday was the day they came.  It was a surprise program the musicians had planned.  Arne said we were “a fearless audience” because we didn’t know what the program would be.  Bob and I invited special friends we thought would appreciate the live string quartet.  We were eight listening to the four musicians in our living room.  It was an intimate gathering listening to chamber music as it was meant to be heard.

We all liked the music the quartet played.  The first piece was the Corelli variations, then they played a lyrical piece by an English composer Frank Bridge, and then a piece by Erich Korngold finished out the first part.   Each of the pieces was  inspired by a folk song giving a nice theme to disparate pieces..  I especially liked the harmonies and the fluidity of the Korngold piece.  It was beautiful.  Arne said he especially liked best the second piece by Frank Bridge.  It seemed to me the quartet got better as they played together.  They ended with a wonderful Mozart String Quartet!  (K. 387)  The instruments played off each other in so many different ways as the melody flowed around the group.  I remember the fourth movement began with the viola playing a line, then the cello repeated it and then the first violin playing the same refrain and grew and grew.  It was a fugue. We all loved the program that lasted an hour and a half.  They were generous with their time.

It was truly special to have this concert here just for us.  It brought back so many happy memories from when our boys were growing up and music filled the house.  It was like the walls and the wood came alive once again, vibrating to this beautiful music.  I had tears in my eyes through much of the concert as the cool Berkeley breezes wafted through the room and carried the music outside.  I wondered how many hikers on the public path just next to our fence stopped and listened for a moment and wondered where this beautiful music was coming from?  What  a generous gift Arne gave us!  And then to boot he brought Liam who finished building my special birthday music box, all by himself working at the art table in the next room.  From time to time he’d come into the living room and listen to the music. I spot him and he’d smile at me.  After the musicians left, Bob and I prepared dinner for our friends.  Arne invited Justin, his good friend from Cal and best man from his wedding.  We’ve loved Justin for the twenty five years we’ve known him.  I was happy to have my music buddy here and Bob invited his long time colleague Yuen Dat and his wife Josephine.  It felt so special to share the experience with these long time good friends.  Life’s good memories are made in such special happy times.  This will be always a most special memory thanks to Arne’s generosity and inspiration to bring music to Bob and me at home.

                                                                                       

Embracing Life

 The last words my father spoke to me on his last visit were “It’s all good.”  He turned as he was walking toward his airplane gate and said that.  I’ve thought about that a lot, wondering where the good is in war or child abuse?  I don’t have any answer.  But I know that spiritual teachers tell us to embrace all of life.  It is a gift, the best gift of all.  As far as I know, we didn’t ask for it, we were created hopefully through the love of our parents.  

It is easy to embrace life when everything is going along well, sunshine and flowers and rainbows.  But when the hard times come, it is much harder to find the courage to still embrace our life as a gift.  When pain and suffering raise their ugly shouting heads, it is easy to be overcome by their presence.  When I watch the news, hearing one bad thing after another that has happened and find myself full of fear when I wake in the night, I try to remember to breathe deeply and relax or to say the Jesus prayer (Oh Jesus, fill my mind with your peace, my heart with your love and my body with your light).  I don’t always find the negative things gone, but their impact on me is less as I remember what is truly important.  When I can do that, I am embracing the totality of my life.  

A Day with Elsa

 For grandparents, one on one time with our grandchildren is precious.  We invited Elsa over for a day with us and the day that worked for her was yesterday, her last day before school started.  She rode up with Arne from Palo Alto and we picked her up from him in front of the BART offices.  She had her latest birthday present with her and Arne tipped me off we might want to stop on the way home and get supplies.  She had an electric ice cream maker.  We stopped at Safeway and Elsa and I picked out the cream, the whole milk and a carton of fresh strawberries. As soon as we got home, we got right to it, popping the special metal ice cream bowl in the freezer and crushing the strawberries, mixing up the ingredients and put them in the frig to chill.  Then I suggested we make sugar cookies.  I know Elsa likes them a lot, so I thought it would be fun to make them for our picnic.  She suggested we halve the recipe, which was an exercise in fractions, no problems until we got to the one egg.  “I don’t know how to make half an egg,” I said.  “Oh I do,” said Elsa and she began her process of whisking the egg and then pouring half into a measuring cup.  I thought she was pretty smart.  Later, she confessed she’d never done that and I decided she is even smarter than I thought.  

As the cookies baked, we went outside and I tossed the volleyball to her.  She loves hitting the ball back.  It is good practice for grandma too, catching all those hits.  When we finished this, we checked out my shell collection and my jewelry (she loves to look at those things).  Then it was time to start the ice cream maker.  It is nifty how it is electric so you don’t have to churn it. After 15 minutes or so, it was a thick slurry.   We tasted it and it was creamy and delicious.  I thought it would be good to have dessert before our picnic lunch.  We packed up Bob’s new picnic basket that he won in the church raffle and off we went to the Botanical Garden.  It was a lovely picnic lunch.  Bob remarked how nice it is that Elsa is so chatty.  She told us about her friends, her new schedule for school and pretty much anything we asked got a long involved response.  I am impressed how polite and sensitive Elsa is and she seemed to be really enjoying the day. 

Home again, we hit some more volleyball.  This time she most tactfully showed me how she wanted me to toss the ball throwing it out from my chest with my elbows sticking out like wings.   I learned the move pretty quickly, I thought.  Then we started on the art project I’d planned.  We moved the art table outside, covered it with newspapers and began our finger painting.  It was interesting how differently each of us did it.  I seemed stuck on swirls and loops while she covered the paper with copious paint and then blotted it with paper towels.  I was impressed with her originality.  We both got deeply involved in the creative process and both of us were surprised how it wasn’t as messy as we thought it would be.  After a while, I needed to stop for a cup of tea.  My energy had run out.  When I got back, I saw Elsa’s had too.  She was sitting on the steps painting her legs with the purple paint.  I asked what she was doing and she answered she wanted to see how it felt to be purple.  I was glad at this point there was she was the only grandchild here.  She covered her legs completely.  She was purple!    It must have felt really good because the finger paint had an amazing thick slimy feel on our hands.  So I suggested she go show grandpa her purpleness which she did and then I squirted her with the hose until all the purple washed off into the garden.  Perhaps that was the hit of the day- becoming purple.  Clean again, we went into the house and played games of Boggle.  All too soon, our time was over and we hugged and I waved goodbye as Bob took her back down to Oakland and Arne.  It was a lovely fun filled day.  I enjoyed every minute and as always I am so very impressed with Elsa and very happy to spend time with her.