Holiday rituals

With Thanksgiving over, I've turned my face toward Christmas.  I seem to have much more time to reflect than anyone else in the family and I'm anticipating Christmas and the rituals we use to celebrate the holiday.  Consumerism has co-opted Christmas and so this year I polled the family on gift giving to the adults in the family (of course, we all want to give presents to the children).  One son said definitely, no gifts; another wanted little gifts; a third said let everyone do what they want to do which is what we decided.  Tomorrow, December 1st, starts the Advent calendars.  For as many years now, I've collected little treats - candies, toys, Christmas tree ornaments - which I wrap and send to the grandchildren.  They tie the enticing little presents on to the large felt calendars I made for them.  Each day the girls open one present which perhaps spoils the girls, I know, but builds crazy anticipation.  I wonder how do we teach the children the joy of giving?  The annual giving to our favorite charities is done in private.   Decorating the house is a ritual that brings me much pleasure.  I love putting out the 50 year old Christms decorations from our time in Denmark which brings continuity of all our Christmases.  I love the many candles which bring light to the long dark nights.  This year I've folded multitudes of golden origami cranes to use to decorate our Christmas tree bringing my strong wish for peace.  I plan when I tie each one on the tree, to say a prayer for peace for people or group of people.  And finally the ritual of writing our annual Christmas letter.  This year its my turn and I like it to be brief.  It gives me great pleasure to remember our friends and to write a special note to each.  I love receiving the holiday greetings and news from friends and family far and near.  One ritual which has gone by the wayside is holiday baking which is just as well now we know how bad sugar and butter are for us.  But I will miss the good smells coming from the warm kitchen.   We are especially blessed that all our children and their families will be with us for Christmas.  December is almost here and I'm excited.

Thanksgiving

Sitting in our dark living room, lit only by candles, mellow with a belly full of turkey (high in tryptophan that natural mellowing agent), I am feeling particularly grateful.  Grateful for the wonderful guests who came to our Thanksgiving dinner - one veteran, three foreigner nationals and two children who wiggled, squealed and generally livened up the place.  Grateful the  dinner came together smoothly and was enjoyed by all.  Grateful for the peace I am feeling just now.  I love this holiday when I especially remember and am grateful for things I all too often take for granted.

Train Adventure

We were invited to go along on a weekend train adventure.  It was a marvelously planned weekend by our daughter-in-law.  We took the Amtrack Capitol Express train from Jack London Square to Sacramento.  The grandkids, age 5 1/2 and 3, were excited from the first sight of the great big train to the last moment.  They stood at the windows, exclaiming about everything they saw.  When we got to Sacramento, we walked to the nearby California Train Museum in Old Town, down by the Sacramento River.  The grandkids ran from train to train, so excited!  It is a great museum filled with actual train cars and engines from all different time periods. I marvelled at human creativity and craftsmanship.  A highlight for me was to walk through the Pullman Dining Car with displays of the table settings complete with silverware and designer dishes.  Quite a change from the current dining car with paper plates, pre-made food and plastic knives, forks and spoons.  Then we checked in to our nearby hotel where the kids immediately all went swimming.  When it got dark, we walked back for dinner into a magical Old Town by night.  The highlight was a candy store with multitudes of buckets overflowing with every imaginable kind of candy.  The next morning we walked to State Capitol and enjoyed seeing the seat of California government. Walking through the extensive gardens, the kids picked oranges which disappointingly were very sour.  But they found fun things to do wherever they went.  The kids loved racing along the long blocks and playing in the fallen leaves.  Little Liam, though, kept saying he wanted to go back to the train museum and so there we went.  This time they discovered to their great delight the toy trains on the second floor.  We caught the train back just before sunset, all of us tired out from a great weekend adventure.

Fear

Terrorists seek to evoke panic and fear among their enemies---all of us in the Western world.  Random attacks of innocent civilians is a powerful weapon.  130 killed in the Paris attacks and millions become afraid.  It has warmed my heart to see Parisians going back to normal life so as not to give in to fear.  Now another terrorist attack in Mali.  Fear is a powerful emotion, contagious and often paralyzing.  I've spent way too much of my life living in fear and I've never been near anything like a terrorist atack.  But fear has too often paralyzed me:  fear of not being able to do things or not being good enough;  fear of unknown future; fear of being mugged or attacked.  I am appalled by many Republican governors saying no Syrian refugees settling in their state.  Politicians know appearing to fight a source of fear gets votes.  Advertisers know fear sells.  The news media uses fear to keep us watching (ABC's Extreme Weather reports as a case in point).  FDR said, paraphrasing Sir Francis Bacon, "We have nothing to fear except fear itself."  So clearly this fear permeating our world is not a new thing.  Fear is a natural emotion in response to real or perceived threats to our wellbeing. When we are actually under attack, it's a great response helping our survival.  When we're just imagining a threat, our body doesn't know the difference and then we find ourselves afraid and stressed.  It is our job to not let the terrorists, the advertisers, the media, the politicians manipulate us using fear.  Let us examine our fear carefully so we can respond to real, not imagined, crises reasonably and with compassion.

Paris

I am heart-sick about the horrible terrorist attacks in Paris  yesterday.  As President Obama said, "This is an attack on universal humanity and the values we all share."  We stand in solidarity with France and the people of Paris, sharing their shock and grief.  I cannot imagine the fervent hate that must have been inside the terrorists to do that.  Even in the light of this evil slaughter of so many innocent people, I still believe kindness and compassion are stronger than hate.  What can we do?  We can be kind to each other and ourselves in our shock and heartbreak.  Another question is what can the civilized world do to stop such attacks designed to create fear and draw us all further into conflict and war?  Retributive justice doesn't work.  For us to strike back even more strongly is what they want---but an eye for an eye only creates more blindness.  Yet fight against this evil we must.  What can we do that respects our precious freedom and our values yet prevents future attacks?  Must we sacrifice some more of our freedom in the name of protection?

Merchants of Doubt

Last night we saw the documentary "Merchants of Doubt" based on a book of the same name by Naomi Oreskes.  She is a history of science professor at UCSanDiego and set out to explain the disconnect between the consensus among scientists on important areas of research and the public debate around that issue.  She found that a handful of scientists and some lobbyists have obscured the truth about scientific research on a variety of topics from tobacco, fire retardants, pesticides to global warming.  They blocked government protection of consumers using the same devious method over and over.  It was shocking to see how the same people have been involved in obfuscation of the public for the last fifty years.  Scientists aren't generally good communicators of their findings and these obstructionists take advantage of that by using the following tactics.  I'm sure you've seen these arguments in Op Ed pieces and even on the PSB NewsHour where one scientist (representing 99% consensus) argues with someone with an opposing view (representing much less than 1%).  First, these obstructionists deny that the finding is even happening saying over and over, for example, there is no such thing as global warming.  Then when finding become so clear it can no longer be denied outright, they will say something like, scientists don't all agree, the science is unclear.  They plant seeds of doubt.  When that argument no longer holds up, these guys will take on one point and try to deflect the argument, saying, for example, global warming is happening, but it's not caused by human action.  And when that argument no longer holds, they will say something like, global warming is happening and it is caused by humans, but the economic consequences of controlling our emissions will devastate our economy and destroy our way of life.  They lie.  They aim to distract policy makers and the public from the most central important issues.  They even go so far as to directly and personally attack the scientists.  It was very disheartening to see Republicans in the Senate and House, first stating that we must act on global warming (there was even a shot of Nancy Pelosi and Newt Gingrinch sitting together on a couch agreeing about our need to act on global warming).  The politicians  took a strong stand then not too much later reversed themselves saying there is no such thing as global warming.  Someone got to them.  It seems now denying global warming is a conservative Republican litmus test.  I hope those who have doubts about global warming will see this film and begin to recognize the tactics exposed in the film.  The science is clear.  I just hope our collective action isn't too little too late.

Rain

This morning it rained.  I sat in the gray light and just listened to the sound of rain falling on our roof and porch.  It is a comforting, nurturing sound; a sound that in these drought years brings special joy to my heart.  Here in California, we get our rain in the winter, but there's no guarantee enough will come to ease the drought.  Weather and climate are events we humans cannot control, but only influence.  Yesterday I heard a passionate sermon about Climate Change.  It started off with an ecstatic musing of being in the beautiful wilderness, reminding me of John Muir, then quickly shifted to a clear strong statement about our moral duty to care for the earth (God's garden she called it).  Indeed!  I hope this is an idea whose time has come.  I hope it isn't already too late.   She invoked the Jewish idea of Tikkun Olam (the concept that the original wholeness of creation was broken apart eons ago and it is our job to bring the broken pieces together - to work to heal the brokenness).  Yet so much of what I do is mere tokenism and doesn't make much difference.  Studies show that recycling, while it make us feel good, doesn't actually help that much.  I think we all must change our way of life!  We must consume less, travel less and there needs to be fewer of us here on earth.  I hope the U.S. at the coming Paris conference on Climate Change can be a leader and commit to making significant changes.  I hope we can work for the greater good and not just serve our own national self-interest.  I hope it isn't already too late.

Gratitude

Neuroscientists say there is no such thing as multi-tasking and I always thought I was so good at it.  Turns out, I just could switch my thought focus very quickly and I thought I was multi-tasking.  So we can only think of one thing at a time.  That's good news for the practice of gratitude which I've been thinking about today.  When we think about what we are grateful for, then, at that time, we can't think about anything else.  If we look, there is always much at every time, in every situation to be grateful for.  Even, maybe especially, when things aren't going well, it's useful to remember the practice of looking for something to be grateful for. When I broke my hip some years ago and was laid up for 8 weeks, I was pretty unhappy and frustrated.  After I healed, I asked my orthopedist, what I could do to prevent such a thing happening again and he told me to join a gym.  Not just any gym, he said, but one that I liked because his wife had told him, people only keep going to gyms they like (maybe that only applys to non-fitness buffs like me).  It was hard to put down the money for the gym I liked, but I did and it has been one the best things I've done for myself and my health.  I even gave Bob a membership for Christmas last year and now as a gift from the broken hip experience, we are keeping fit.  I'm grateful for the gym each time I go.  Gratitude is an antidote for negative thinking and depression.  It is so easy and so human to take blessings for granted after a while.   I'm going to start once again writing down what I'm grateful for each day.  I have a strong feeling it will do great things for me.