Richard Cushman

It happens only a couple of times in a lifetime that one gets to know someone who makes a deep imprint upon you.  Richard Cushman was one of those people.  He died a week ago on the day after Christmas still in ICU from terrible injuries sustained in an accident where he was hit and thrown about by an out of control car while walking at the El Cerrito Farmer’s Market.  

I came to know Richard when we both were teachers at College Preparatory School in the 1980’s.  He taught English, me Biology.  He self-identified as a “Mr. Chips” and he truly was.  His quirky personality, his keen intelligence, lively sense of humor and great kindness made him a favorite teacher of many students.  And he so loved his students and taught them to love poetry and literature.  They were family for him and many of them kept in touch with him over the years.  His enthusiasm and joy de vivre were infectious.  His gentleness and politeness made him a man from another time and place.  In addition to teaching, he played the organ every day at St. Albans Church and at Friday services at Holy Spirit Catholic Church in Berkeley.  He loved music.  I’d see him at concerts around town.  And he loved his two cats.  

Yesterday, four of his dear friends, those who visited him daily in the hospital, hosted an Open House for friends, alums and faculty from CPS at his house and pay tribute to him.  I got there early and soon his little house was packed.  I hardly knew anyone.  The alums were mostly young in their twenties and thirties. Eventually I stood in a circle of CPS retired teachers and staff.  Everyone had stories to tell about why they loved Richard.  I spoke with Lara, an alum who told me about Richard getting the students to sing to the flowers he was planting at CPS (probably on an Earth Day Celebration) because the plants grow better when they hear music.  And so every time she plants flowers, she remembers that.  I met an English teacher at CPS, Joanne, who taught with Richard for eight years who told me he always had the English office in laughter.  Her story was about Richard teaching poetry.  He had the students recite the poems together so they could feel the rhythm and music in the verses.  Oh, she said, he did the intellectual stuff too.  My strongest memory is from the conversations in the lunchroom.  He always had the table in stitches laughing.  I remember a conversation about brocoli.  Somehow he made it ironic, funny and greatly joyful.  I remember standing in front of my fifth period class thinking only Richard could make brocoli so memorable.  

Richard made us all aware of the absurdity of the human condition as he brought laughter to every conversation but I always felt his deep respect for the sacredness of each life.  We shared a deep spiritual side and a love of church.  I can still hear his voice in my head.  I imagine him walking up to the Pearly Gates of Heaven and bringing laughter and joy to the angels while he teaches them the joy of literature and music.  He will be sorely missed by many.  

Christmas Day

 A spiritual mentor of mine always said the Christmas and Easter holidays are times of great spiritual presence and as I can tell that is true.  Christmas is a holiday to share with family and friends and that is just what Bob and I did.  It is a time of connection with those we love.  It’s a time when differences fade as we are together again.  We FaceTimed our family in Innsbruck, reaching out across the thousands of miles to touch each other.  We called others.  

Here, Arne and Karna and kids came late Christmas Eve morning to be with us.  Let me not forget Boba the family canine who has a definite presence and won’t be overlooked.  He seemed to know it was a special holiday and cuddled up to each of us at different times.  To be sure I snuck him a few bits of ham and let him lick the pans and plates from Christmas Eve dinner.  Soon as they arrived, Bob and Liam headed for the shop and did what they wanted there.  Elsa and I decorated the Christmas cookies she baked the day before.  It was fun to see her abundant creativity and pleasure in doing this.  The cookies got prettier and prettier.  Bob and I went to church for the Christmas service at 5.  The church was crowded and it was a beautiful meaningful service.  I was honored to read words that I found spiritually powerful from the beginning of John.  When we got home again the dinner soon on the table.  After dinner, the grandkids watched “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”and ate popcorn.  It was a cozy comfortable time together.  Christmas morning Arne and I cooked waffles together.  The pace was slow and relaxed.  It wasn’t until 9:30, we moved into the living room to open our presents.  I was thrilled with the handmade presents that Liam and Elsa made for me.  Liam gifted his mother a cribbage table that took him two years to complete.  Arne teased us all by very very slowly opening his presents.  His family loved this, laughing until they had tears in their eyes.  Our friends, Nancy and Larry came over for a visit, which is a tradition we all love.  And then, it was over, everyone left.

But that was ok because Bob and I had to change to get ready to go to dinner at our friends Torsten and Tineke’s house.  We were invited to come to their family Danish “Kold Bord.”  It had been many years since I’d experienced such a meal and it brought back many memories from our time living in Denmark in the l960’s.  At the long table candle-lit, we were greeted by a speech by Torsten, the patriarch of the family saying what he liked about each one present.  We all raised our glass of aquavit saying “Skol” to each other.   At our places, there was a stack of three plates, indicating there was going to be at least three courses.  First was the fish course, with seven different kinds of herring to be eaten on thinly sliced dark rye bread.  For me, it was surprising that each bite tasted better than the one before it.  Second, was a course of red cabbage and sausages.  Oh my, I was full after that even though I’d eaten very small helpings.  Then came the third course which was sliced salamis and liver pate to be eaten on bread.  Throughout, the snaps and beer were poured.  We toasted other.  It was a joyful jolly feast and I felt it was a privilege to be included with their family. 

Home, I reflect on how rich and wonderful our life is.  Christmas was wonderful and even though I missed having Paul’s family and Erik with us, I appreciated the lower key pace of this year’s celebration.  

Doing the Good That is Ours to Do

These days the news makes me sick to my stomach.  I think many people feel the same way around here.  My response to DT and now President Musk is to withdraw and to not to respond emotionally.  It’s hard because I care so much but it is the way many Democrats are protecting themselves.  The pundits tell me we must resist.  How do I resist is my question.

Interestingly, I think my minister gave me the key.  Last Sunday’s Advent theme was “Doing the Good That is Ours to Do.”  In her sermon she gave the following example.  She has a really good friend with whom she has not spoken for a long time.  They had a falling out over differences about religion and politics.  As she was writing her sermon, she realized she needed to call her friend.  It was a hard but she did it and the call restored their relationship and friendship.  It was one small thing that she could do.  Inspired by this, I thought I need to call Cousin Cindy.  She is a rabid supporter of Trump and in my opinion has been brainwashed by Fox News which is on 24/7 for the last more the fifteen years.  Her political views are extremely opposed to mine.  I hadn’t spoken to her in probably two years as I felt I had nothing to say to her.  As I was writing a Christmas card to her, I thought now is the time to call.  So I did.  Needless to say, she was surprised and I think pleased by my call.  I wished her a Belated Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas.  I asked how she was doing and learned she has been deeply seriously depressed for quite a while.  Not a word about politics was spoken.  I realized this was my little bit of good that I could do.

Doing good is a powerful form of resistance to the evil I see around me.  It is easy for me to discount what I do thinking it doesn’t matter or that it won’t make a difference. But it does matter greatly.  Upholding my values and putting them in action, even in uncomfortable settings, can inspire others to uphold their values and resist the low level morality we see around us.  These mitzvahs don’t need to be big and grand, just little things along the way each day.  I feel good about reconnecting with Cousin Cindy.  I think it made a difference.  So bit by bit, we resist by doing the good that is ours to do.  

Blue Christmas

Elvis Presley’s “Blue Christmas” carol has been going through my mind recently.  It’s a rhythmic blues song about the loss of his girlfriend and how sad he is this time of year without her.  The Church has taken over this idea and it’s now common to have a “Blue Christmas” service focused on the sadness and loss some people feel during the holidays.  I attended this service at our church last Sunday, partly out of support for our minister and partly out of curiosity.  It was a lovely meditative “stars and cystals” sort of service including a sound bath made by the singing sound of big glass bowls being played, rather like rubbing a wine glass to hear its song.  About twenty of us lay on the floor of the church listening, grieving and wondering.  While I wasn’t sad when I went, I did remember Bob’s brother who died last summer and all the losses I’ve experienced especially during my long Covid experience.  After the service ended, we were invited to walk the labyrinth outside.  It’s a kind of circular maze path one walks twisting and turning about until arriving at the center.  There, one rests and I tend to face the four directions: north, east, south and west.  This year when I faced in four directions I thought of the four seasons:  spring, summer, autumn and winter.   I considered the seasons of my life.  At my age, I’m clearly in the season of winter.  Walking the labyrinth, one supposed to not think of anything, but to wait expectantly to see what comes up.  As I walked back from the center to the beginning, I got a strong feeling that in life, it’s not the destination that is important but the journey.  I remembered the wisdom my old dad imparted to me.  As he was walking out to get on an airplane, he turned back toward me and said “It’s all good, Julie” and that was the last time I ever saw him, the last words I ever heard him say.

How can our journey which now for me is filled with so much loss be good?  With this on my mind,  I went back into the social hall for hot chocolate and snacks.  A woman I quite like came up and sat next to me for a chitchat that was anything but superficial.  She told me how she had stopped driving in September.  What a big loss, I thought and she’s younger than me.  She said it wasn’t really that hard to do once she decided to do it.  The biggest problem was worrying about it beforehand.   So we began to talk about being in the winter of our lives and how winter is defined by loss and rest and sleep in the Natural world.  She began to get worked up and said, “Yes, I’m experiencing loss and letting go of a lot of things, ideas and beliefs, but I’m really excited to see what is coming!”   She went on, “For me, I think about how when I was born, there was loss of the safety and comfort of the womb and being born involved loss.”  Whoa, what profound thoughts those were.  She’s excited and curious about what’s to come next.  As I approach the biggest mystery of my life with trepidation if not a lot of fear.  I sincerely believe where there is loss and letting go, that creates space to find new things and perhaps to  purely and fully recognize who we are.    

After dinner with friends last night, we were Air-dropping photos across the room from IPhone to IPhone.  I thought, “hmmmm, how does that work?  Could death be like that?  Somehow slipping through what we understand as reality to a new place?”  Hmmmmm.  Much to consider.  

  

We Got a Tesla

 We did it!  Saturday we drove up to Rocklin and brought home a brand new 2025 Tesla Y.  Ever since we got rooftop solar, Bob has been dropping hints that he’d like to get an EV.  I said, “No way.  First of all, I didn’t want to spend the money and second I didn’t want to give any support to Elon Musk.”  But last weekend at dinner with our friends, Bill and Christney, they told us their children wanted them to get a Tesla because it is so much safer than a Prius.  Ohhh, I thought, “safer.”  Safety is a big thing for me in cars.  So I got to thinking about safety and said to Bob, “perhaps we should look at a Tesla.”  He didn’t let any grass grow under his feet lest I change my mind.

Last Wednesday we went down to the Emeryville Hyatt for a test drive of a Tesla Y.  The car was parked behind the hotel, hooked into a charger.  There was no person involved in this test drive.  We walked around the Tesla and wondered what to do.  It was locked.  Bob called a phone number he had and finally after waiting on hold got Kevin, who told us their key was in the Tesla App on Bob’s phone.  We got into the car and then we didn’t know how to start it.  “This is going to be a steep learning curve, I thought.”  There are no buttons to push, no knobs on the dashboard, only a big computer screen.  We got the car started and then had to figure out how to get it in gear.  All this without a person to help us.  Finally after half hour with another phone call to Kevin (at some unknown Tesla site), we got going.  We were told we could have an extra hour for our test drive.  We decided to drive up to our house to see if the car was high enough off the ground it would go on our driveway with scraping..  The Tesla passed our test.  Bob quite liked the way the car handled, the comfort and ease with which it drove.  He liked sitting higher.  I found it very comfortable and realized that a bigger screen is actually safer to glance at than the much smaller screen on the IPhone.  I was impressed with the software that provides bells and dings and even corrective stopping when something unsafe is done.  We both really liked the Tesla and eventually decided that is what we wanted.  I had to swallow my bile about supporting Elon Musk.  

Next Bob had to figure out how to buy it, there being no sales rep or saleroom.  This too was done over the internet, with no person around, except on the phone to help.  Kevin (he must be getting tired of our questions) patiently helped us out.  There were no cars like we wanted in the Bay Area.  There was one in Rocklin, east of Sacramento.  We put our $250 down on that one and made an appointment to pick it up on Saturday morning.

We drove up to Rocklin on Saturday morning and found a bustling very busy actually was a brick and mortar Tesla dealership.  We went inside the showroom.  It reminded me of an Apple showroom except instead of phones and computers, there were cars.  Four cars, one of each model and a Tesla robot too.  There were high tables we stood at while Bob paid for the car using his IPhone for the bank transfer.  It was so modern.  We got out to the car and the salesman (whose name I never learned) asked if we had any questions.  Bob wanted phone numbers so if there were problems, he could talk to somebody.  The young salesman was impressively patient with us and answered all our questions.  Even when I asked him what I should be asking that I hadn’t.  And off we went.  After lunch at the local Taco Bell in honor of Bob’s brother (who loved Taco Bell’s), we got on the freeway.  Bob followed me all the way home.  And now there is a brand new Tesla in our driveway.  We are thrilled and I hope to overcome my reticence and try driving it in the next few days.  What a Christmas present we have given each other!!!!  

Gift of Friendship

 The long Thanksgiving holiday has passed.  From days before to this moment,  I have been blessed with reminders of precious friendships.  I have been thinking about how important friends and family are in these challenging times and as one gets older.  Maybe it’s because I’m not so busy as I was when we were raising the family and working.  Now I have time to invest in my friendships.  Friends are mirrors in which we see ourselves.  Like a sunset, each friendship is beautiful and unique.  There is no place for harsh judgments of traits we don’t like in ourselves.  Friends take us as we are and their love magnifies our beauty.  While we don’t get to choose our family, we do get to choose our friends.

Bob and I were invited to my friend Sharona’s table.  Thanksgiving is her favorite holiday and she hosts a large gathering with all her family plus various friends.  She has done this for as long as I’ve known her (which is more than 44 years).  This year we were 18 people packed in her little in-law house behind the big house where she raised her family and now her son and family live.  She has the preparation down from years and years of hosting Thanksgiving dinners.  She actually has a notebook called “The Book” full of instructions and tips honed over the years.  For example it tells her when to  order the turkey,, how many potatoes to buy, when to make the various dishes.  Bob commented the gravy was delicious and she jumped up from the table and showed us a pitcher that had the opening for the spout on the bottom so she could pour out the turkey juices without getting any fat in the gravy.  

Her table was long and beautiful.  Each place was identified with a pressed leaf with a name on it.  She starts the dinner by asking us if we have anyone we want to remember, someone who died in the previous year.  And there’s a moment of silence.  Then the food is passed, the dinner and the conversation begin.  After a generous passing of time, we, sated from all the food, rest.  The plates are collected, and the dessert table is set out.  The warmth and ease of conversations lets me know, we are among friends.  My heart is filled and I know I am blessed.  I am grateful for friendship and  that is what Thanksgiving is all about.  

A Mendocino Adventure

There was a big rainbow over Boonville, as we arrived there last Wednesday afternoon.  Its promise was true, the rain had stopped and many good things were ahead.  When we parked at our favorite coffee shop to get our lattes, who did we see on the sidewalk but our friends?  We were the group we call the “Chile Mujeres plus two.”  We met and got to know and like each other on a birding trip to Chile eleven years ago.  Last year, we organized a birding trip to Uruguay together and now we met for a three day reunion adventure of birding and play in Mendocino.  Joyfully, we hugged and laughed, so happy to see each other.  Whitney and Sharon especially enjoyed the Farmhouse Gift Shop next door, Hanno and Bob picked up milk and cream for our breakfasts and Bob and I sipped our lattes and enjoyed being with the group.  When we got to the house, we were awed by its beauty and the amazing setting right on the bluff with a grassy lawn down to the cliff at the edge of the water.  The place was very comfortable, with everything we needed.  Bob and I got the biggest room because it had a king-size bed to fit Bob.  It was perhaps the most beautiful bedroom suite I’ve ever stayed in.  Our dinner that night was at Cafe Luna where they feature many kinds of homemade pasta.  You could even watch a guy make the pasta through a window on the romantic long walkway coming in the restaurant. It was a good choice and I’d go back there in a minute. 

The next morning, Sharon and I provided a big breakfast for all.  Sharon had gotten the baking bug and brought homemade scones, apple cake and even a delicious loaf of banana bread.  I don’t know why her TJ’s coffee tasted so good up there?  After a jolly breakfast conversation, the dishes were quickly dispatched with Hanno taking the lead.  I loved how everyone pitched in and helped out doing their part.  We were happy the day had dawned clear and beautiful as rain had been predicted.  We headed off to spend the morning at the Mendocino Botanical Garden near Fort Bragg.  With 47 acres, there were lots of habitats for birds and lots of beautiful things to see.  We spent much time botanizing as the birds were few.  We enjoyed all the wondrous nature and views of the roaring surf to be had.  Even the rain that came for an hour didn’t dampen our spirits.  The bird of the day was a Tropical Kingbird spotted as we were leaving.  It wasn’t supposed to be there, so we all enjoyed seeing this rather large yellow bellied bird from warmer places.  After lunch at Princess Fish Restaurant at the Fort Bragg wharf, we headed off to visit glass beach.  I love this beach which is covered with sea glass.  Years before, Ft. Bragg’s dump was on the ocean front and over the years the ocean has broken and tumbled the shards of glass into beautiful bits of beach glass.  We could only admire as we aren’t allowed to take any of it.  Whitney and I clambered down the steep trail to look closely at the beautiful colored bits of glass.  Some of us stopped on the way back to the house at the great nursery and shop of the Botanical Garden.  I was impressed many of their Salvias were blooming and wondered how they get them to do that?  Back at the house, I took a nap while others sipped wine in front of the fire as the light faded.  The restaurant that night was the most famous one in town, Cafe Beaujolais.  Whitney had made the reservation and made sure our meals were special.

The last day, we enjoyed breakfast with a sumptuous repast and again great conversation.  It is such a pleasure to be with kindred spirits that know and like each other.  We cleaned up quickly, packed and left to go to the nearby Pygmy Forest.  The day was chilly with a bright blue sky.  Whitney knew just how to get to the back of Van Damme State Park where there was a wooden walkway loop through the forest of stunted short trees.  Here, finally, there were some birds to be seen and heard.  The group has four outstanding birders who can identify all the birds by their calls even before they see them.  I couldn’t even hear the birds.  A couple of women walking by told us there are Pileated Woodpeckers here, but we didn’t hear any woodpeckers let alone the giant one.  Nevertheless, it was a most pleasant morning birding, botanizing and generally ooohing and awing over the wonderful pristine nature.  How much I love being outside in beautiful natural places!  The rainbow foretold a wonderful three days being with friends, playing and birding together in beautiful Mendocino.  Thanks to each of them who made the trip so great!

                                                                        

                                                                            

                                                                        

                                                                        

Trump Wins the Presidency

 The unthinkable happened early this morning.  For months, I’d feared it might, but thought once Biden dropped out and Harris began her campaign so energetically, so positively, that maybe she’d eke out a win.  It wasn’t to happen.  She lost big time.  More than half the voters actually chose and voted for Trump.  For months now, I realized I’m more upset by the people who follow Trump and might vote for him than I am about him.  The big cheat, liar, con man so full of hate and meanness spreading darkness and fear. 

Well, it’s happened and now I’m the one that is afraid of what is to come. The world that I have lived in for my whole adult life has ended.  What will come?  Chaos, we know that for sure.  Change, that’s what his supporters want.  A new world order.  War?  Financial crises?  To be sure, now America is known as Trump-land.  I’m afraid for women now that Big daddy has been given permission to abuse women as much as he wants.  

Today, I felt physically assaulted and pummeled.  What I believe in has been rejected.  I couldn’t do much because I just couldn’t focus.  I thought about how I want to live in these next four years.  I don’t want to be constantly anxious so I’ll cut out watching the news.  Reading it is much less stressful.  I’ll meditate daily and keep myself calm.  When I heal enough, I’ll begin working on my physical fitness and walking again.  I’ll reach out to friends and spend time with them.  I’ll spend time in places that nurture me and do things that fill my cup.  I will not be cowed or stop looking for beauty and joy.  I will not stop loving my world and people I know and encounter.  Life will go on and in my last years, I want it to be as good as possible.  

Family Weekend at Smith College

One of the highlights and long anticipated events of our autumn visit to E. Lansing was a trip to Smith College in Northampton, Massachusetts to see Erika.  We texted excited texts with Erika as we drove North on Highway 91.  “We’ll call you when we get to our motel,” I wrote her.  Our motel, the North King Motel, seemed out of the way and was reminiscent of the Bates Motel from the Alfred Hitchcock movie.  It turned out to be as bad as I’d imagined and in fact was only 7 minutes from Smith.  We found Erika in the parking lot of her dorm. I was overcome with emotion hugging her.  We briefly went up to her dorm room and then walked downtown in the twilight to find our dinner.  It was magical to be there doing that with Erika.  

The next morning we met her at the CC (Campus Center) where there was a Hospitality Room being set up.  We were early to get a parking place and so we walked around photographing this idyllic New England College in the sunny morning light.  We went to Erika’s German class with her.  Bob really enjoyed the German, I admired the Professor’s pedagogy which kept the class of 13 women on their toes.  As they came into class, my first thought was “Wow, there are so many women” and then I said to myself, “Duh…..it’s a women’s college.”  It seemed more egalitarian, with no one dominating the class than I remember my classes being.  After class was over,  Erika showed us some of her favorite places on campus:  the library, the Botanical Garden with it’s extensive glass houses, the Performing Arts Center, the Gym and as we walked around she pointed out all the different buildings.  It was a beautiful warm fall day and the changing trees seemed at their peak.  The Weekend schedule listed a variety of things for us to do.  Next we went to an Interfaith Lunch in the Helen Hills Hills chapel basement.  We enjoyed very much the meal cooked by students and the program led by students.  I found the students easy to talk to and very kind.  I was happy to meet all of them and hear what they had to say.  After lunch, I took a nap in Erika’s room while Bob went off to another class - Electricity and Magnetism.  At 2, I went to a Campus Tree Tour led with the head of the Botanical Garden.  There were at least 100 people gathered around to hear what he had to say.  He was enthusiastic and told lots of interesting stories about the 4 trees he highlighted.  I especially remember his poetic approach to the very old American Elm tree that predated the College.  He said, “think of it, this tree has in its wood, carbon from every student that has ever attended Smith College.  This tree is living poetry!”  After Erika’s last class, we met her and took her out to the Mall to take care of some errands she had to do (like returning a package to Amazon, buying a Halloween costume, going to Trader Joe’s).  After dinner, we bid her goodnight and she went off to a Squash club Halloween Party.

Saturday morning, we heard the President of Smith give a talk to the Parents/Grandparents.  I was so impressed with her voice and her.  She was gentle, strong, intelligent, seemly kind and clearly a good listener.  While Erika had a squash practice, Bob and I went on a walk along the pond and the river.  It was a lovely walk, with the leaves gently falling and brilliant colors.  After lunch at the Apple Press exhibit, we went on an Erika’s led tour of the library.  It is perhaps Erika’s favorite place on campus.  I was impressed how much light there is in all the library with so many comfortable places to sit and study.  Then we went to the Art Museum and after that to a concert of all the musical groups on campus.  Erika is in the Wind Ensemble.  She likes it, as it is low stress and allows her to keep up her music.  After dinner in her dorm, we went to a free movie, “The Addams Family” put on for the Weekend.  Sunday morning we had brunch with Erika in a dorm and then hugged her goodbye as we left to return to E. Lansing.  I don’t know when we’ll see her again.  Perhaps not until Christmas 2025.  We were totally snowed by Smith.  It seems a perfect place for Erika.  I was impressed she knew that it would be.  She is happy, well settled with a group of 7 friends that eat lunch and dinner together every day.  We couldn’t be happier for her.  Bob now sports a Smith hat and a Smith mug that says “Smith College Grandpa.”  Go Smith!

Trip Summary

 Friends had told me what they remembered from Ecuador were soups and hummingbirds.  And they were right.  But there was incredibly beautiful nature we were privileged to spend time visiting.  Forty-five different species of hummingbirds were spotted by the experts in the group.  I learned to identify 10 or 15.  The diversity is astounding from the giant sapphire wing at Yanacocha to the Woodstars that sipped sugar water out of my hand.  I watched their activities and different personalities for long periods.  The feeders and bug-lights provided by our lodges and other places we visited made seeing many birds quite easy.  I was very impressed by the conditioned antipittas that came when they were called so we could see them.  The colorful tanagers were eye candy whenever we saw them in the forests or at the feeders and so diverse.  Our group saw 47 different species of tanagers.  And the lek behavior of the Cock of the Rocks was special.  Such an odd looking bird, it is hard to imagine how they evolved to look so strange.  Sexual selection is very powerful.  

I loved visiting Antisana and Pappalacta Pass, both over 14,000 feet.  The landscape of the paramo,  the high elevation vegetation with golden grasses and cushion plants was beautiful and most unusual.  It was a thrill to watch 6 Andean Condors in Antisana National Park and see the Antisana volcano emerge from the clouds when we were up high at Pappalacta Pass.

The food was delicious and especially noteworthy were the soups that began every lunch and every dinner.  They were nourishing and could have been a meal in themselves.  It was interesting that popcorn was served with the puréed vegetable soups, something Bob loved.  And the lodges were incredibly beautiful.  All of them in their own way.  Mark said they are among the best Nature lodges in the world.  I believe it.

And finally the Ecuadorian people we encountered were gentle and very kind.  I couldn’t help but feel sad that drug cartels are scaring away tourists.  We saw nothing scary.  We only went through one police check point on the highway to and from the Amazon.  I am grateful to have visited this beautiful country and want to remember its beauty, its nature and to let the memory of pain that hampered me slip away.  

Day 10 - 11. Around San Isidro

 Friday was what has become a regular day.  We gathered early at the terrace to look at the birds coming to the bug-light.  It was busy, perhaps the busiest of all the bug-lights.  I liked the little round cinnamon colored birds like the Mountain wren and the Cinnamon flycatcher.  Big birds came too, like the Masked Trogon and the Green Jay.  Interestingly, the hummingbirds must sleep in because they didn’t start coming to the feeders until the other birds had finished their early morning breakfast.  We then had breakfast too, enjoying the wonderful fruit juices, the cereal and toast and then the plate of eggs.  After breakfast there was a walk around the grounds, looking into and up at the edge of the forest.  Not much seen.  After lunch and a rest, we met at the van and rode out of the grounds to a nearby road, where with thunder booming in the nearby mountains, we looked for birds.  Lapwings were spotted in the field with nearby plastic greenhouses.  Mark didn’t like the wall of bamboo so we went down the road a ways in the other direction and walked through the spitting rain.  As rain began seriously we gave up and went back to the terrace where there were lots of birds to watch.  Before dinner, at dusk (always 6 pm at the equator) we looked for nocturnal owl-faced monkeys to wake up and move off into the forest.  None were spotted.  

Saturday after the usual activities, we met at the van for one last walk in the cloud forest.  Mark said the trail was an easy one, single-file, and gently sloping downhill.  I wanted one last walk in the forest.  What Mark didn’t mention was that the trail was covered with slippery rocks and had a steep drop-off on one side and a high cliff on the other.  The views were great.  It was tough going for me and I was very glad for my walking stick to steady me.  I didn’t look up much, because every time I did I got dizzy.  Looking down, I saw flowers, a beautiful snail, if not birds.  Few birds were even heard let alone seen for those who could look up.  But the walk through the forest was special.  Going back up the trail was ever so much easier.  To me, it was a time of saying goodbye to the beautiful nature we had been living in and visiting for two weeks.  

Days 8 - 9. Guango, Pappalacta Pass and on to San Isidro

 These were the best of days and the worst of days.  Wednesday morning my knees miraculously felt better.  In fact, they didn’t hurt all day long.  After breakfast, we went on a walk through nearby by Cloud Forest.  Starting it was easy walking along the wide grassy pipeline track.  There is a 50 year old oil pipeline we’ve encountered that runs from the Amazon to the Coast.  It has fascinated Bob who has learned lots about it.  We dropped down and went out onto a bridge going over the nearby Rio .Quijos.  We were looking for Torrent ducks who make their living gleaning insects from the rocks along the raging waters.  Right away we saw a pair of them standing on a rock nearby.  It was exciting to see these birds and watch them dive into the water and come out again on the same rock.  From there we took a trail into the  forest.  I do love walking in the forest rather than on a road at the edge of the forest.  The ground is bouncy like the sponge that it is.  The air has a special smell, not dank, but almost sweet.  And it’s cool.  Looking around the density of plants is amazing.  I liked looking at flowers and lichens.  A colorful Masked Trogon was spotted hunting in the forest.  In the scope, we could see it’s black eyelashes around the red eye ring.  We spotted a Turquoise Jay hunting.  In another opening to the river, we spotted a Fasciated Tiger-Heron.  I was impressed by it’s thick heron bill and dark striations.  It is very shy and doesn’t like eye contact, Mark said as it flew off down the river.  Later, we spotted it again and got a good look at it but at the distance.  At that point we turned around and retraced our steps.  I was very happy.  For me this morning walk was definitely a highlight of the trip!  Bob has had some great digiscoping at the morning bug light with beautiful photos of the Green Jay, the Turquoise Jay and many other birds.  Later, the adventurous ones took a hike up a steep trail on the other side of the road to a tall feeder that attracts the Gray-Breasted Mountain Toucan among other birds.  He got great photos and made it back to the Lodge all by himself by taking the pipeline path.  

In the afternoon, we drove up Papalacta Pass to 13,500 feet.  It was raining and then very foggy.  We turned right onto a dirt road and bumped along to a gate.  A sign said we were entering a National Park.  The vegetation was thick and bushy and all native.  I was impressed by its vigor at such a high elevation, but the bushes could grow this high because we are on the equator.  In the Park, we stopped on a number of occasions and hopped out of the van to see what we could see.  The rain stopped and it even cleared for a while giving us nice views the Antisana Volcano from the North.  We saw a number of birds living at their highest elevation:  the Paramo Tapaculo, all black and charcoal; the Grass Wren, a golden puffball.  I was entranced by the tiny Alpine plants with flowers and berries growing among the bushes.  It wasn’t until we passed 14,000 feet on our way to the top that the vegetation changed to mosses and grasses only.  We saw cushion plants again.  It was cold, but clear with no wind and we all felt incredibly lucky about the weather we encoutered.  At the top, 14,400 we got out and walked around among the radio and communication towers.  I felt like my old self and enjoyed this adventure immensely.  On the way down, we watched a pair of Andean teals diving, something Mark had never seen.  I thought to myself, well the birds don’t know they’re not supposed to do this.  At the gate, a Tawny Antpitta appeared and gave us a show.  For me, it was the best day of the trip!

The next day, I paid for it.  My knees hurt badly and I kept back in the room resting them.  It wasn’t so bad as our room was very beautiful.  I enjoyed sitting on the deck in the sunshine watching birds and enjoying the sound of the nearby river visible through the forest.  A little hummingbird kept coming close and sitting on the deck.  Only later did I learn she had a nest behind me in the bamboo divider.  We left and drove down to San Isidro Lodge with a long stop at La Brisa, a place that had feeding stations.  The van has become a can of germs with half the group now sick and hacking and hewing in the closed space.