Time

 Sitting here on a chilly Memorial Day holiday, I am thinking about time.  It surprised me to realize I have only been back from Michigan for two weeks.  It seems like I’ve been back and living here alone for a very long time.  That observation made me reflect on what I’ve been doing and how I’ve been doing it.  The church work has grown very big in my mind.  I think I am giving it too much time and attention.  I feel like I’m pushing too hard.  When I reflect back to my time before Easter, I was in the flow and I didn’t have to push.  Case in point:  the Lenten art book I did.  I took on the discipline of doing a piece of artwork every day.  I pulled out a big blank book and began to draw.  I don’t know how I did it, but each day I’d make a drawing and write a few lines about where I was spiritually that day.  Every day I drew and the kicker was that the book had exactly the right number of pages for the days of Lent and Easter week.  The book is now circulating through the congregation, I do well to even know who has it.  And as I think about that freedom and creativity, I recognize what a gift that was.  Coupled with my pressure from church, I have been having a hard time with the volunteering I do at the Botanical Garden.  I’ve been very crabby.  One day, I was even accused of whining.  Something isn’t right because it used to be my happy place.  Now it feels like work I don’t want to do.  At my advanced age, I don’t have time or space for pressure any more.  The church work will end July 2.  After that, I’ll see how I feel about the Garden work.  I want the ease and freedom I had earlier.  It left me when I became exhausted after Easter.  I want it back.

East Lansing in the Spring

 Two and a half weeks after Easter, Bob and I left for our annual Spring trip to East Lansing to spend time with the family.  Erik also took time to spend two weeks there, so we overlapped.  The first week was hard for me.  It was cold, really cold for late April (in the high 30’s and 40’s).  My plans to walk the neighborhood fell away.  I did take a walk on a sunny day to the MSU campus and enjoyed the daffodils and spring green of the first leaves coming out on the trees.  The tennis matches were cancelled because of rain.  I was dead tired and it took the better part of a week to feel better.  The girls were super busy, as they should be.  But it meant we didn’t see much of them.  Paul and Paula were super busy too.  The second week, life picked up.  Erika had three AP exams that week, interspersed with tennis matches and a jazz band concert, plus regular school.  Sonja is busy with tennis class and track after school.  She seems happier to me than she was in the fall.  She’s counting the days until school is over and very much looking forward to summer vacation.  We missed Sonja’s birthday by two days, but I gave her a card that said she gets $5/year plus $5 for good behavior. She could have cash or a gift card to her favorite store or go shopping with Gramma.  She chose going shopping with me which pleased me immensely.  It was hard to find a time to go, but we did.  I picked her up after track practice at 6 PM and we went out to the Mall to Pandora.  I didn’t know what kind of store it was.  It is an upscale jewelry store aimed at girls.  She wanted a charm to go on a silver bracelet she has.  She chose a really nice little firefly that lights up when it is in the light with a little silver plaque saying “You light up my life.”  It was an especially sweet time for me to spend this special happy time with her.  We went out to lunch with our friends Connie and Jim and sat and talked and talked.  I left a bit earlier than I planned because I needed to be back to work at the church.  So now Bob is there until June 7.  Last weekend there was especially busy.  Erika went to the Jr/Sr Prom.  Sonja did her makeup and nails and that made me really nostalgic because my sister used to do that for me.  It is something to see another generation following suit.  Erika looked elegant and beautiful, like a tall slender Calla lily.  I haven’t heard how it was.  Bob and I talk often on the phone and here I’m kept busy busy with all I have to do.  

Church Work

 It has been a long time since I’ve written a blogpost.  The longest gap since I’ve been blogging.  I think what happened was that I have been overwhelmed by my church work and generally I don’t write about church work. Since the beginning of February,, I’ve been a half time interim at the little church we attend.  Another minister in the congregation also works doing the other half of the interim job.  We split work right down the middle, mostly alternating Sunday’s sermons.  Both of us lead worship and the congregation loves us both, different as we are.  In fact, the fact that we are so different but get along has been good for everybody.  It all has gone splendidly, better than I could have imagined.  Whenever I think about it, I am so very grateful that I can do this, that I am still able to do it.  But it has taken its toll.  I’m pretty grumpy at the Botanical Garden these days.  I feel pressured there and I seem to be affected by the negativity of the staff that works with us.  Other volunteers say they just ignore it.  I’ve learned when I get grumpy and negative, it is a red flag telling me I am too tired.  I also haven’t kept up my walking and exercising and I can really feel my fitness slipping away.  It’s scary how fast it goes when I don’t exercise three times a week.  Overall, I’m glad I’ve been able to help out.  I’ve made a new friend—my ministry colleague and now the end of my work is in sight.  Yesterday the church called a new minister.  She preached and prayed while Barry and I flanked her doing the other parts of the service.  I like her.  She’s young, energetic and seemed passionate about the UCC in her sermon.  Her first Sunday will be July 9th.  Until then, I’ll keep trying to find balance in my life and enjoy my role of minister.