The Little Things

 It is four weeks today that we’ve been here in E. Lansing.  As Erika said, “It seems like you’ve always been here.”  It does.  This visit has been different for us because we moved into our new house.  The first two and half weeks were spent waiting, in anticipation of the move, making lists and shopping for what we needed.  My lists filled a yellow pad.  It was a pleasure when I crossed off, one after another as the items were found and bought.  There are just a few things left to get:  bedside tables, an end table for the living room and two high stools for the kitchen.  I have a self-imposed policy of only buying things which bring me joy and are a pleasure to have.  We’ve been in the new house now for a bit more than a week and it feels so comfortable.  It is amazing how smoothly the move has gone. It feels like, as Erika says, we’ve always been here.  As I reflect on my joys, they are numerous.  I recognize they mostly are the little ordinary things.  These are the golden threads that weave into the beautiful fabric of our life here.  I love the family members stopping in for a cup of morning coffee or just checking in with us.  I love that Paula brings over their newspaper in the morning or stops in to tell us about the trip to the little fair at the shopping mall.  I love that Erik often comes over to have a cup of coffee in the morning or a glass of wine in the evening.  I loved being together and  playing a game of Clue over here.  Sonja won, but that matters more to her.  I love our many meals together.  It made me very happy this morning as Paula came over and said she was going to go to Target to get supplies for dinner.  I said I’d like to go too and she said she’d planned to ride her bike. It occurred to me that I had nothing to do and she has all sorts of work to do.  So Bob and I walked to the local Target to get groceries for tonight’s dinner.  How happy that made me.  I love the conversations at dinner with our granddaughters who seem to say the most at the table.  I was especially happy to invite the family over here for a celebratory first dinner at Gramma’s house a few days ago.  Just being in this beautiful new house brings me great joy.  I look forward to having guests visit us and sharing our space.  

Moving Day

Moving Day for us here in Michigan was over the weekend.  Saturday morning, I found myself overwhelmed, gobsmacked or stunned.  I bumbled along but wasn’t of much use.  I’m glad there wasn’t anything for me to do early on.  I think it was an extreme reaction  to change.  My old father used to say, “there’s nothing permanent but change” encouraging us to roll with the punches.  I’m not sure I agree with him as I think about it.  Living systems rely on stasis, specifically homeostasis, which works on feedback loops to maintain life by maintaining stability.  For example, when our body temperature rises, then we automatically sweat and pant to cool our temperature back to a normal range.  Big changes threaten safety and most of us avoid them if we can.  I guess I was feeling threatened by the change to living in the bigger nicer house.  It marks a commitment to living in Michigan a bigger part of each year.  We envision spending months in the spring and fall here, keeping our California house for summer and winter.  

Early Saturday morning, Bob, Erik and Paula helped move into our new house our  heavy leather sofa and extra heavy dresser which were stored in our neighbor’s trailer.  Then they helped the sellers, another Bob and his wife LuAnn, move the last of their furniture, their couch and living room chairs and their daughter’s bed into his trailer.  It was nice to help each other.  The sale and move has been incredibly amicable.  They wanted to leave the house extra clean for us and so had Stanley Steamer come and clean the rugs.  That meant we had to wait to move in until the rugs dried.  The place was so clean I was intimidated, feeling a little measure of relief when I found a dusty window sill.  I had the back porch filled with the many bags full all the things I’d bought for our new house as well as bags of things from the old house.   In the afternoon, Sonja came over and unpacked things for the kitchen.  We consulted about where things should go but mostly I let her decide.  She loved it and did a wonderful job.  She immediately identified “The Coffee Nook” where the new coffee grinder and maker would go.  She figured out the best place for the glasses, the pans, the dishes and the cutlery.  I loved her energy and evident joy which filled my heart and the house.  Her parents say “she likes to organize things.”  I say she’s really good at it   Bob has been very busy with cords and cables getting the internet and phones set up.  

Sunday night we were mostly moved in.  There are just a few things left to buy.  After a feast of sushi at Paul and Paula’s house to celebrate, they wandered over and sat around in our living room.  Paula arrived with a bouquet of fresh lilacs from her garden.  Paul took over the blue recliner.  Erik had hung the last of the pictures which made the place seem finished.  It was a lovely relaxed time.  Erik FaceTimed Arne which brought him here too.  Liam got on the IPhone and said Hi to everybody.  Sonja popped in to get a popsicle which I promised I would keep stocked in my freezer for her.  As we chatted, I looked around and felt very happy.   The move marks a change, but a good one, a very good one.  This place is beautiful.  Now I am noticing details of, for example, crown moulding everywhere, of all the cedar lined closets, of all the storage, of the super clean basement, of the pretty views out the windows.  

Now we have a dining room and a table that will seat the whole family.  We will invite them over to dinner here now.  The house is now becoming ours as we fill it with our things, but mostly as it is filled with laughter and peace and family.  

A New House

 Today we bought a second second house.  It is on the other side, the north side of Paul and Paula’s house.  Is it the beginning of a family compound?   This new one is bigger, in better shape than the one we currently own.  We’re neighborly with the owners and the whole sale has been very amicable and friendly.  They picked us up in their tan Suburban and we all went off together to the closing at Liberty Title Company in Lansing.   When we went in they asked if we wanted to be in one room or two.  It made us appreciate even more how easy this sale has been and that it is not always this way.   After passing a big stack of papers around the table, each of us signing the papers in turn, Bob (the seller) handed me the keys.  It was an auspicious moment.  We’ll be able to move in on Saturday.   Knowing this was coming, I’ve been very concerned about how in the world we would ever get all we need to furnish a whole house.  I saw so many hurdles.  It is a big task to furnish a whole house.  They left a bed, a tv and a hutch in the dining room. We’ll need a sofa, where would I get a sofa?  What kind do I even want?  I had to learn which store to go to find what I’m looking for.  For the sofa,  I looked at Pottery Barn on-line, great quality but not a lot of choice. I looked at IKEA on line, but nothing appealed to me.  I looked at Pilgrim House, a huge 3 story furniture store, but nothing was my style.  I found one I liked at Home Goods, but when I took Bob back the next day to look at it, it had been sold.  My luck changed when after a visit to IKEA in Detroit where I liked nothing.  I went on to Craig’s List which I had never done before and found a dresser we might like.  When we went to look at it the next day, the man told us he had a houseful of furniture to sell.  They are moving to Florida.  We bought his leather sofa and ottoman, three living room chairs, the dresser, his round maple dining room table and six chairs, plus a variety of small tables.  It was a bonanza!  He gave Bob a treadmill.  The next day, Bob, the seller of the house we bought, helped us move the whole lot back in his covered trailer with Erik and Bob’s help.  I’m thrilled.  All the furniture is excellent quality and well taken care of over the years they owned it.  Over our time here in this adventure of shopping,  I’ve learned which stores to go to in order to buy what.  Pillows from Home Goods.  I love Home Goods.  Wicker porch chairs from Target.  Towels and beddings from Costco.  I’m becoming quite a shopper!  Saturday as we move in, it will be interesting to see how everything looks in place.  The move will bring changes to our lives.   We’ll be able to invite the family over for dinner.  But we’ll be out of the flow of things as it has been.  We will have to figure out how to stay a part of everyone’s life.  In the meantime, Erik is staying in the house we are leaving.  He has been here for more than a year and it suits him very well indeed.  It’s a new house for Bob and me.  A new day.  A new unknown adventure.  

A Trip to Toledo

 For a Californian, going to another state is a big trip.   Here in Michigan, it’s not.  Saturday, we were invited to go on a trip to Toledo, Ohio, a trip of around a hundred miles.   Sonja was signed up to play in a tennis tournament at The Twos, a tennis club in suburban Toledo.  I am incredibly impressed by Paul’s devotion to his girls’ activities and his knowledge about and pleasure in their matches.  The plan was for Bob and me to go to the Toledo Museum of Art while Sonja played tennis.  Our family here loves that museum and wanted us to have a chance visit it.  We were warned by Paul, the parking cost $8 but museum entry was free.  The very first thing we did was visit the Cafe since it was past lunchtime.  The menu was filled with delicious sounding meals. The prices were good and the servers very friendly.  The meals didn’t disappoint, they were delicious!!  With our energy restored, we set off into the museum.  It was founded in 1901 by Edward Drummond Libbey, the Toledo glassmaker magnate.  It was voted America’s favorite museum in 2010 and we agree, it is a truly lovely museum.  We enjoyed the Impressionist paintings and especially a beautiful  metal Art Nouveau gate.  I loved finding paintings by old favorites like Edward Hopper and seeing new contemporary art.  Because Libbey donated his extensive collection of glass, they have a whole building to show ancient and modern glass pieces.  There was even a demonstration of glass blowing which was very interesting and well done.  News about Sonja’s first tennis match was texted to the family.  We got updates as we strolled through the galleries.  She won handily.  Paul said the girls were evenly matched and had great rallies.  We  wanted to make sure we got to watch her play so we hurried back in time for her second match.  Even though she lost to a much higher ranked player with a wickedly fast serve, we were very impressed by Sonja’s playing.  She showed her focus, skill, courage and intensity to her very last stroke under a difficult challenge.  At my request we stopped by IKEA on the way home.  The items we wanted to get were out of stock.  Lucky for us because the IKEA quality was very poor and we found great furniture for sale for less on Craig’s List today.  On the way home, I thought how lucky we are to have been invited on this fun day to Toledo! 

Mother’s Day in Michigan

I had the best Mother’s Day ever.  It started when our oldest son, living here in the house we’re in, brought a cup of hot fresh brewed coffee to me in bed.  What a wonderful way to wake up!   After my shower, I was presented with a big bouquet of red and yellow tulips and a present of a pair of black yoga pants from Bob.  I put them right on.  We were invited to breakfast at the other house where Paul had made a festive breakfast of steel cut oatmeal with all the fixings,  plus farm fresh eggs steamed to perfection.  I didn’t know you could cook eggs in a vegetable steamer.  Paula and I each got a big bouquet of tulips, so I’m in tulip heaven.  It is so much fun to all sit around the table.  I love the chit chat and the commotion.  Saturday, Erik took me shopping out to Van Atta’s, the biggest nursery in the area, where he bought me 5 plants to landscape the northern exposure of the house.  Sonja decided we needed to do something, something really really fun.  The funnest thing she’d done recently was to go to the Hawk Hollow Golf Course, just North of here, to play miniature golf.  It was nothing like the miniature golf I last played 35 years ago with castles and blocks and worn out artificial turf.  This course was 18 holes of long manicured real putting greens with curves and banked slopes.  We all went and it was so fun.  Sonja exuded joy and excitement and watched the puts go into the holes while Erika calmly watched.  She did get excited over all the frogs in the many ponds.  Bob made a hole in one on a 130 foot hole.  I got stuck in a heart shaped sand trap.  It must have taken me 10 shots to get out which I found incredibly funny for some reason.  Somehow with a putter I couldn’t get under the ball to pitch it up and out.  Amazing I’m not still there whacking at the sand..  Playing together with everyone and laughing and putting our brightly differently colored balls was something I never in a thousand years would have thought of doing.  Life here revolves around the girls and their activities and sometimes spins fast.  Arne called to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day which made the day complete.  It was a perfect day and I felt so loved and honored all the day long.  

Settling In

 We are settling into life with the family here in Michigan.  It has been more than a year and a half since we’ve been here.  It is interesting how the pattern of our days hasn’t changed so very much.  Basically everyone is busy with the activities of their own lives and we gather for dinner together each night.  Dinner is later because the girls’ tennis practices only end after 7 pm.    The dinners are very fun for me.  The table is full and the conversation lively.  I have been worried for quite a while that our presence would make it too many at the table, but we seem to fit in.  That’s family!  I haven’t yet got the hang of when and what to cook for my turn, but last night we brought in take out from Sonja’s favorite place —a Ramen noodle store downtown.  I thought the noodles were terrible but the girls gobbled them up.  We had a third birthday party for Sonja last night.  She wanted to have one with Bob and me because we hadn’t been at her previous two—-a big one with the family on the day of her birth and a second one in the park the following Saturday with her best friends.  This girl knows how to celebrate.  We had to wait a while after the ramen to eat the special dessert and listen to Happy Birthday played by tubas (yesterday was International Tuba Day) because everyone was so full of noodles.  After dinner is a sweet time with the family.  Erik and Paul might play Boggle.  They are such masters that they only allow 5 letter or longer words.  Erika will sit at the piano and play Beatles songs.  Sonja rushes around busy with her projects.  I just sit and enjoy the commotion.  This morning is Saturday and Paul, Erika and Sonja are off  to the gym for tennis;  Erik and Paula are working and Bob and I sit here sipping coffee.  It’s a lovely day.  Later, Erik will go to the big nursery nearby to buy some new plants for the garden.  We are settling in here.  

Back in Michigan

 We traveled to Michigan on Tuesday!  It seemed like such a big daunting task to get to the airport, go through all the airport lines and get on a plane given we’re still in the pandemic.  The reality of the private limo to the airport and the fact there were no lines at the check in counter or at security made that part easy.  Sitting on the airplane at the front of the first class, I watched as long long line of people get on the airplane and we were very close to all these slow moving people which made me nervous.  The first class meal was a 6” x 2” x 3” or so plastic wrapped box of junk food.  I flinched when someone behind me started sneezing.  I was glad when the flight was over.  Our oldest son drove 90 miles to pick us up.  That was the biggest treat!   What a joy it was to be back in the bosom of our Michigan  and hug our grandchildren and children.  Their busy life, of course, continues even if it has a different shape.  Both the girls can stay up as late as they want because they can sleep late now as in person school for Sonja doesn’t begin until 11 and the same is true for Erika’s on-line school.  Alice, the woman across the street has died.  Paul said she was mean and crabby (what a terrible way to be remembered).  I miss watching her pull up her kitchen window blind each morning and come out and do her yard work.  She was always in her garden.  Her death reminds me of my own vulnerability.  On the brighter side, Bob and I had a nice walk through the University down to the river walk where the last of the tulips were still blooming.  The trees have recently leafed out and I love their light green color.  I can feel their urgency in turning green and getting back to making their food.  Four of us went to watch Erika’s last High School tennis match at a nearby high school.  It was really fun to sit there in folding chairs in the late afternoon light and watch she and her doubles partner, MacKenzie, smash their opponents.  E. Lansing girls’ tennis is undefeated this season!!!  After dinner, Sonja played her latest piece Beethoven’s Piano Sonata and Bob and I were wowed by the piece and her progress the last year and a half.  It’s good to be back here with our family.  

Playing

 I have a very gracious, generous and creative friend who has themed  get-together where we do art projects.  I always look forward to these very much.  Yesterday was such an event.  She invited a group of retired teachers who all worked together for many years to come to her house and make greeting cards.  It’s called a “Card Party.” There were three language teachers, two science teachers, one art teacher and a woman from the Business Office.  When we first arrived, we got our tea and snacks of really good buttery cookies and delicious cheese and crackers.  Oh yes, there were vegetables and humus too.  This year the joy of being together without masks was palapable as the room filled with  laughter and merry making. Everyone had a story to tell about their year of isolation.  Eventually we moved into her dining room and took a place at her long table.  There were baskets with scissors and glue sticks, a basket with blank cards and piles and piles of zip lock bags filled with beautiful papers of every possible color and design.  And the creative juices flowed.  It was so much fun to find papers I liked, them cut them up and arrange them on a card.  As my fingers got sticky with glue, I felt like I was in grade school again.  At one point someone said “we’re all girls, can you imagine a group of men sitting here, cutting papers shapes and glueing them on cards?” And everyone broke out in laughter, laughing until tears were streaming down our faces.  We know who we are and we love these parties.   Every one of the cards was beautiful.  We ooohh-ed and awhhh-ed when each finished card was proudly shown to the group.  As we cleaned up our messes, I thought what an inspired idea it is to invite friends together to spend time doing something that is so much fun and so creative.  I loved the laughter, the tears and the whole experience.  And now I have a pile of handmade cards to write special notes to my friends and relatives!  What a wonderful way to spend a Sunday afternoon.