Day 13 and 14. Watching and Waiting

We are in this confinement for the long term, I think.  Soon, we expect to get an order to stay in place until the beginning of May.  We’re watching and waiting to see if the curve is flattening here in the Bay Area.  We are hoping that our early sheltering in place order has made a difference.  After a wet gray weekend spent inside, it was great to get out this morning for a walk.  On our walks, we explore new areas each day, going places we haven’t been before.  I enjoy photographing beautiful flowers and creating a mental map of where all the roads and paths around here go.  Everything has slowed down: the reaching out with emails and texts and the order I place on my days.  Naps call to me more often.  I guess I’ve slowed way down.  Maybe this is a good thing, a pearl to be found among the pandemic woes.  Others I see are that air is much cleaner these days with so little traffic on the roads and so little industry up and running.  It seems that the local governments have finally figured out a way to house the homeless population, even if it is temporary.  Our kids have created orderly clean workspaces for everybody in their families.  We watch and we wait, grateful to be healthy and safe.

Day 11 and 12. Temptations

It’s a rainy Saturday morning in Berkeley.  This morning I decided to create something, so I’m laying out lots of my hand spun wool and other yarn remnants to design an afghan.  I have a vision of a forest with flowers in my mind.  I hope the greens, browns, orange, soft yellows, maroon and blue weave together into something beautiful.  The yarn is all over the living room floor making a big mess.  I love this time of pure creative imagination before the reality of the actual project with its knots and difficulties impinge on my vision.  As I’ve been winding the skeins into balls, I’ve been thinking about temptations that seem to pop out of nowhere.  In the SF Chronicle this morning, there was an article about the possibility earthquakes on the San Andreas Fault.  As if we don’t have enough to worry about with the pandemic, the paper gave us all something more.  It’s a temptation to worry and hoard more food for the earthquake.  Yes, an earthquake could happen at any time, but so could all manner of other disasters.  Life is always balanced between chaos and on-going stasis creating the dynamic tension in which we live.  The economy has ground to a halt, but the Congress has allocated more than $2 trillion in economic relief.  I can’t even imagine how big a pile $2 trillion would make.  How many times would the bills lined up end to end circle the Earth?  It’s a temptation to worry about the economy and the money we lost. Closer to home, I made the difficult decision to hire someone to buy food for us.  The usual delivery services at Whole Foods and Safeway are so impacted they are not even taking new orders.  It’s a risk to go shopping, so we reached out to a guy Bob’s friend and his wife have used and were pleased with.  Though it was chaotic and stressful reaching him, late yesterday afternoon we placed an order.  I didn’t know where he’d shop.  I suggested Trader Joe’s and he said the line at Trader Joe’s was literally two blocks long.  I guess they are limiting the number of people in the store to prevent crowding and allow for social distancing.  He called with a question about an item and then again with the total bill.  I added $20 to the total for his fee and handed him the check when he dropped off the two bags of groceries.  It was $120 for two bags of mostly produce with no meat or liquor.  Expensive, I thought, but it’s not a time to worry about the cost.  When I unpacked the food, I found the receipt.  He’d already added his fee in, so he got paid twice for doing the shopping.  I’ll never know if it was an intention fleecing of vulnerable old folks (that’s us) or just an honest mistake.  He didn’t notify us though, we called him about it.  Trust is a fragile commodity and hard to regain after it has been broken.  Temptations are all around us.  I am making an effort to be positive while being aware of all the temptations, chaos, fear and sadness in the world right now.  We had a lovely walk yesterday.  I saw the ultimate Berkeley staircase.  I can’t imagine carrying groceries up to that house.  I enjoyed using my “Seek” App on my phone to identify new plants.  It identified the one below in the photo as Greater Honeywort.  Little pleasures become more important.  I will not let the temptations drag me down.

Day 9 & 10. Finding the Gold

We all seem to be accommodating to the new situation.  I find the days slipping by faster and faster.  I lose track of what day it is.  Yesterday, I had a very productive meeting of a committee from the Botanical Garden.  Somehow on Zoom, with each of us having a little square on the screen, we all were equal and it was easier to see each other and speak in equal amounts.  I wonder if there will be more Zoom meetings in the future?  I’ve been looking for the gold in my days, good things coming out of this horrible situation in which we find ourselves.  Maybe it’s too soon to see it.  Some early finds:  it seems that Bob and I are appreciating each other much more than we usually do.  We are both happy to have such good company.  I am enjoying our exercise, yoga and walks together very much.  I enjoy seeing neighbors out walking too.  We don’t have many children in our neighborhood so I miss seeing them and hearing their voices.  When I think about how hard this must be for people with young children home, I have great compassion for them.  When I think about dedicated teachers all over the world trying to keep their students moving along, I have such compassion.  It must be very hard to learn a whole new way of teaching, on-line, while taking care of oneself and one’s family.  We are all in this together.  Some of us, in crowded cities like New York and older folks like us, have bigger targets on our backs, as we all face the same potential virus infection.  This seems to be a time without all the distractions we usually give ourselves over to, a time where we see what is really important distilled right in front of our eyes.  I am touched how our children reach out to us more often now.  I am touched by the profound nature of some of the emails from the little church we attend..  One had a fabulous quote from Shakespeare:  “Sweet are the uses of adversity.....” from As You Like It, Act II, Scene 1.  Another posted a list, from UC Berkeley Greater Good Department, of six questions to ask oneself each day while quarantined.  Check it out, it’s really good.  Time to go for a walk and look for some more beautiful flowers like this Grevillia from yesterday’s walk.

Day 8 - Crazy Ninja

Without the structure of school days, I’m interested in how our school age grandchildren are spending their copious time at home.  Liam loves to play games: Monopoly, Dixit, Risk and especially Cribbage.  It’s a game Karna’s grandmother taught her to play.  The whole family has been playing, but Liam’s endurance in games is much greater than any of the others.  So he ends up playing against the computer.  On the Cribbage program there are 4 levels:  easy, medium, hard and Crazy Ninja.  Liam plays Crazy Ninja and Arne says wins half the time.  Amazing for a 7 year old, I think.  I’m guessing Elsa doesn’t have patience for Liam’s long game playing.  Arne says she loves her screen time and Arne says she likes to get out of the house and each night Arne reads to her from “Treasure Island,” the same book he was read to as a child.  The other day when we “FaceTimed” she was eating caramel pudding she had made.  I bet she learns a lot of cooking in these sheltered days at home.  Meanwhile back in Michigan, the girls are keeping busy at their workstations.  Everyone has access to a computer and the girls often visit with their friends on their computers.  Yesterday, Sonja was happily chatting away with her friend Edner on the computer, while busily crocheting away at the same time.  She’s taught herself to crochet and proudly shows us new items she’s made.  I sent her some beautiful yarn I spun  and she said she’ll crochet me a hat from it.  Today, Paul made up a scavenger hunt for the girls with items to find like a boat, a baby carriage, 3 cars in a driveway and so on.  Armed with an IPhone each, Sonja headed out on her new rollerblades and Erika on her bicycle.  They hadn’t been heard from when we talked with Paul.  Everyone is keeping busy.  Meanwhile, here, we had a Video workout/assessment with Arne’s personal trainer, Karen who lives in Florida.  Bob spent the morning setting up the downstairs room, with lights everywhere and curtains blocking the light from the windows so we could see her on our big screen TV.  We were ready to go at 1:30.  We enjoyed our time with her and hopefully will continue our workouts once a week during our confinement.  Arne said we need to have individual sessions so we’ll take his advice.  It’s good to be encouraged in our exercise.  I don’t want to end up in a puddle on the floor unable to get up or move about.  Day by day, life goes on.  It is amazing how we all are adapting to being “shut-ins.”

Day 7 - Scattered

This second week begins a different phase of sheltering-in-place.  We all know the rules.  We all know everything is cancelled.  We all know we can’t gather in groups at all.  We all know there is no where to go out except to the grocery store or out walking.  Life has changed and now we just have to learn to get on with it.  I’ve been wondering about the line between being prudent and being paranoid?  It seems to me we are all called to be paranoid these days.  We are to look at every other person as a potential carrier of the virus.  This is really hard for me to do.  We are all called to see every surface as potentially contaminated with viruses.  This makes me crazy.  How can I keep a balance in these uncharted times?  Today I felt very scattered and tired.  I had difficulty focusing on any task.  I’d start something then get up, make a cup of tea or wander the house pacing back and forth or check my email for the upteenth time.  I didn’t realize how really scattered I was until I tried meditating.  My thoughts were like weeds that vigorously pop up with the rain and wind their way between my breaths and lead me astray.  I returned over and over to my breath and I became settled in the process.  These days are testing us, calling us to use courage and skills we didn’t know we had.

Day 6 - Sheltering in Place

Last night I had a nightmare.  I was driving in a hurry to make a flight somewhere, but I was in the backseat and the person in front of me had so many pillows that my view of where I was going was totally blocked.  I woke up panicked, my heart pounding, thinking I can’t see, I can’t see my way forward.  I guess the pandemic has hit my unconscious and it’s trying to alert me to the situation.  Yesterday Bob and I walked down to Tilden Park Botanical Garden, which was, to my surprise, open.    There was a funny hand lettered sign at the Entrance.  We slowly strolled, watching for birds, admiring the flowers, stopping to rest on the out of the way benches.  The skunk cabbage was blooming down by the creek.  It was very pleasant.  On the walk back home, we were surprised by the heavy car traffic and by the number of people out on the grass and walking.  On the little path through the woods where we used to walk Bridget, our dog, every day, there was a parade of more than 20 people going by.   I guess everyone, after a week at home, is going a bit stir-crazy.  It is a challenge to maintain good psychological, physical and spiritual health in the days of the pandemic.  Mark Kelly, an astronaut who was in space for a year, wrote on article in the NYTimes today listing things he did in that year to maintain his equilibrium.  He recommended: 1) follow a schedule, but pace yourself, 2) go outside - paying attention to your senses - notice the sights, the smells, the sounds and touch the earth and flowers; 3) you need a hobby; 4) take time to connect; 5) keep a journal; 6) listen to experts; 7) remember we are all connected.  Good advice I thought, though he forgot our spiritual needs which is what deeply sustain us.  I’d add, pay attention to what is really important to you.  Go deep and give thanks for blessings you have.  Name them, nurture them and give thanks again.

Day 5 - Venturing Out

I cried this morning for the first time.  I ventured out to stock up our larder, going to Whole Foods as it opened for the special “Old Person” hour at 8 AM before the store opened to the public. The long line of customers snaked out past the door and curled around on the nearby sidewalk.  Many people were wearing protective masks and gloves.  I was surprised there were so many young people in the line.  I don’t know why, it is Berkeley after all, a place not known for people who follow rules.  I did see one person turned away until 9 AM when the store opened, presumably for being too young.  As I entered the store, gloves on my hands but not wearing a mask (we don’t have any), I saw the beautiful display of fresh fruits and vegetables and I cried.  I guess the stress of the pandemic and all the changes it is bringing hit me.  As I put green beans in a bag, I found myself shaking.  It was hard to concentrate.  By the time I’d gotten a bag of black beans and hit the fish counter, I’d calmed down somewhat.  The store was fully stocked.  I even scored a roll of paper towels.  The young clerks and shelf stockers were amazing polite, helpful and smiling.  That felt like a shot of normality.  This time, I didn’t even look at the cost, I was just glad there was enough food to be bought.  Last night I realized I’ve been in survivor mode this past week, living in our little bubble here high up on the hill.  I started to feel incredibly sad for the enormous changes each day brings.  I still cannot believe this is really happening.  It all seems like a bad dream and that I’ll wake up and the nightmare will be over..  But there’s a new normal coming.  I don’t think we’ve seen it yet.  So in the coming days, I will try to keep calm and grounded in things that really matter.  Our family is fine.  There is food in the super markets.   Bob and I are spending much more time together and appreciate each other like never before.  Our routine is comforting as are the connections with friends.  I never realized how connected I actually am to so many different groups.  The birds are still singing.  The first day of Spring was a a few days ago and Nature is bursting forth with new energy and beautiful blossoms.  The words of one of my favorite mystics, Julian of Norwich, come to mind: “All things will be well, all manner of things will be well.”  I just have to hang on in this wild ride.

Day 4 - Connecting

Last night Gov. Newsom asked all 40 million Californians to shelter in place, effectively shutting down the whole state.  His epidemiological models predicted that in the next 8 weeks 56% of Californians would contract the novel coronavirus.  That’s a really big number.  This drastic measure is trying to spread out the onset of the disease so that the hospitals aren’t overwhelmed.  But it means we’ll be susceptible for a much longer time. In the meantime, we adapt to our situation.  Last night my book club met on zoom.  Aside from the clumsy and extremely stressful set up for me, it was a great encounter and a really good discussion.  I loved seeing the faces of everyone and hearing their voices.  Our granddaughters in Michigan are adapting too.  Erika is connecting with 7 of her friends on a zoom (I guess) format and chatting.  She says “it’s great to spend time with my friends and talk about how we’re doing.”  It makes her feel connected and not miss contact with her friends.  “Just like sitting at the lunch table at school, “ I said.  “Well, almost,” she answered.  Meanwhile, Sonja had a virtual play date.  We got a picture of her playing with Lego in the living room and showing her creations to her friend on the computer, who was also playing with Lego.  She was happy as a clam.  Today, I had a virtual Doctor’s visit, meeting my new doctor for the first time on a video conference.  It was a poor connection, but it was good to be in touch.  He told me to consider ordering my groceries on line. This afternoon we have a date to have dinner with our Michigan family, virtually.  I don’t know what the technology is, but the computer will sit at a place at the table and we will share in their dinner conversation.  Our Palo Alto family is more on the ground.  They are texting photos of the kids on a city beach (which isn’t closed).  Elsa and Liam are playing the surf and collecting rocks and shells.  We are keeping in touch and that is very important in these days of isolation.  Thank heavens for technology in these scary and trying times.

Day 3 - Coping

Today has been a harder day for me than yesterday.  I started this morning wondering how long the social-distancing and sheltering in place will last?  Then I started worrying about all the symphonies, garden events, visits to Michigan that will be cancelled.  I took a deep breath and thought, “no one knows.”  Can I live with the unknowing?  Watching myself, I realize that I am finding comfort in routines, in things I can control, like keeping the kitchen sink clean.  One of the things that brought me comfort yesterday was meditating with a friend.  Oh we’re not physically together, but we both sit and meditate at the same time.  I recommend trying meditation if you haven’t done it before.  It’s really easy.  You find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed.  I sit in a chair, but you can sit cross-legged on the floor if you prefer.  The point is to have good posture, as straight a back as you can comfortably have.  You close your eyes and begin to notice your breath going in and out.  I say to myself, “I am breathing in; I am breathing out.”  Sometimes I say “I breathe in calm or peace or some quality I’d like to have and then I breathe out worry or fear or anxiety or whatever you’d like to let go of.”  After a while, I find myself daydreaming and then I notice that with no self-judgment and go back to noticing my breath.  The point is to return to your breathing.  The noticing and going back is a moment of pure awareness.  I go back over and over again.  I’m meditating 20 minutes each afternoon at 5 o’clock and I invite you to join me.  I find myself calmer, settled and happier after I’ve meditated.  We all do have enough time these days.

Day 2 - Settling In

It’s Day 2 of the Shelter in Place Order with lots of days yet to come.  The headline in the Chronicle was “State’s School likely closed through spring.”  The empty space of my days spreads out in front of me like a giant empty canvas.  How will I fill the days?  There is no hurry for anything any more.   We sleep later each day (good we can).  While we don’t hurry breakfast, I want to keep our three meals as a kind of anchor to our days.  We will exercise each day.  Yesterday each of us did almost an hour of exercise, remembering our routines and past exercise we can do without machines of the gym.  Bob went on-line last night and ordered stretch bands from Amazon.  We will go out on long walks, discovering new areas.  Yesterday on our walk, neighbors were out and everyone we passed greeted us with a smile and friendly hello.  That’s new.  We were glad to see each other.  Friends have been reaching out by email, text and phone.  I’ve been reaching out.  I emailed a friend with whom years ago I practiced meditation suggesting we meditate at the same time.  We all are finding routines for our days as what is really important becomes very clear.  Thank goodness for Bob, for family and friends in these days!  Thank goodness for our beautiful home with a garden for me and a workshop for Bob.  Thank goodness for having enough food and warmth.  And thank goodness for our good health.

Day 1 - Lockdown

This morning when I woke up, it was eerily quiet. The background sound of the cars on the 880 freeway 3 or 4 miles away wasn’t there.  7 million people in 7 Bay Area counties are now “sheltered in place,”  ordered to stay at home, going out only for essential services, like buying food.  We are allowed to go out walking or hiking, though not in groups.  We’re not allowed to go on any non-essential car trips or trips on public transportation.  I read in the newspaper that this order has teeth in it.  It’s the law.  It’s a misdemeanor to break the rules, with possible jail time or fines.  We’re all locked up, social distancing in the extreme, waiting for the coronavirus spread to stop.  I have a feeling that this 3 week order will be extended into the summer.  I fear for the unknown unraveling economic effects.  This virus and the extreme response to it is creating big change we cannot quite yet imagine.  I think things will never quite go back to where they were.  In the meantime, we will keep in place and like the postcard on the frig says “Keep Calm and Carry On.”

Hunkering Down

I have entered a time of deep quiet.  First, yesterday, Gov. Newsom urged all Californians over 65 to stay home, self-isolated for our own good and the common good.  Now, today, we have been ordered by the City of Berkeley and Alameda County  to Shelter in Place for three weeks.  All activities in the six Bay Area counties have been shut down, except for essential services.  We can still go out and buy food.  What extreme and unprecedented measures!  I can’t even imagine what this is doing to the economy.  There was an historic drop in stocks today.  They’re down more than 30% since the high of the market in February.  I saw a headline that Mitch McConnell was urging all old Republican Conservative judges to resign so the current Republican Senate can confirm Republican Conservative replacements.  Maybe the silver lining of all this is that Trump and the Republicans will be thrown out of office.  No one has been adding up what all the other closures are doing.  A friend who works as a Flight Attendant for Delta told me last night that Delta has reduced its flights by 40%, while American and United have reduced theirs by 60-70% (not that I feel sorry for the greedy airline industry).  We’ll soon hear about the economic costs of this shut down.  How will we all cope with this confinement?  How will I cope with mandatory lock-down and the loss of all my favorite activities?  No more Garden frolicking; no more gym workouts; no more lunches with friends, no more church.  This is historic and will be talked about for years and years.  No one really knows what will happen.  I find the dumbest things give me comfort and pleasure.  I love playing Sudoku using  my turquoise glitter gel pen that Sonja left here at Christmas time.  The sparkles make me smile.  I love going out to my garden here and seeing what is growing.  When it warms up, I’ll go out and weed while the ground is still wet from the recent rains.  I’m enjoying cooking from scratch.  Bob and I will take long vigorous walks and try to figure out an exercise routine.  There will be new joys.  Maybe I’ll start drawing again or begin to write the family history?  There are few external distractions now.  I hope I can find inside myself a place of deep peace for these coming quiet days and that we stay healthy.

Be Kind

This morning I went birding with a Docent friend in the Garden.  It was lovely to leave my burdens at the gate and immerse myself in finding my feathered friends in their coming and goings.  It was a time of refreshment and peace.  As we were strolling along,  I thought about how everybody in the U.S., maybe in the whole world is anxious and stressed about the virus and the uncertainty because no one knows how all this will play out.  It is time for us all to be very kind to each other.  A smile, a little kindness goes a long way and maybe gives a small measure of hope in scary times.  We are all in this together.  I’m going to keep a record of the gifts of kindness that come my way.  It starts with the invitation to go birding and continues with the conversations I had standing in the long crowded check-out line at Safeway.  Life will go on and maybe in the inevitable slow down we all will experience, we’ll have time to notice our blessings.

Unraveling

It’s like watching a sweater unravel.  One thread breaks and pretty soon, another is loose and then there’s a big hole in the garment.  It started so far away in China and grew big there until a whole region was shut down.  An ill-fated Princess Cruise or two became quarantined, but it too was far away.  And now it has come close.  Watching so many things close down, March Madness basketball tournament, Disneyland, all of Broadway, churches, schools and the enormous drop in the Stock Market is like watching the garment of our society unraveling.  In biology we know that everything is connected.  It’s true in any system.  You change one thing, it affects all sorts of other things.  In living organisms, the systems all work to maintain a steady state - homeostasis.  The COV19 has changed the world order.  The pandemic has come.  It has been predicted by experts and even biology textbooks.  Now, in the United States, there are more than 1500 confirmed cases.  Experts say there are probably more than 10,000 cases in the U.S.  It’s just that we don’t have test kits so many are going undiagnosed.  But the U.S. is connected to the world where there are now 127,000 cases in 111 countries.  I trust what Angela Merkel, Germany Chancellor, said yesterday: that 60% of all Germans can expect to catch this virus some time in the next couple of years.  Few have immunity.  I expect I have at least a 50% chance of catching this virus.  I just hope I have a robust immune system.  Given this, the question is how do I choose to respond?  Just in the last half hour, I’ve received emails cancelling tours at the Botanical Garden, cancelling all church events including Sunday worship and cancelling a Memorial Gathering for a favorite teacher friend of mine.  Gavin Newsom (California governor) has recommended that gatherings of more than 10 people especially of the vulnerable (that’s us) be cancelled.  So now we collectively will try to “flatten the curve” of the pandemic—-spread it out over time so that the hospital facilities will not be overcome.  While I will not succumb to fear, I will limit my exposure to other people for the common good.  I will keep going to the gym as long as I can, taking precautions of hand washing and cleaning the equipment before and after use.  I will go to the Botanical Garden and other outdoor places.  I will decide, one event at a time, whether to attend or not.  It’s really wait and see.  No one actually knows what will happen.  Present events indicate that the worst is yet to come.  What will be the new normal?

A Trip to the Art Museum

Things are getting tense here.  One of Bob’s friend’s wife has said she’s not leaving her house today or in the near future.  We (we being those who are vulnerable to Coronavirus - I.e. those over 70 and those with weak immune systems) have been advised to stay away from public places, from other people.  Many companies are telling their employees to work from home.  Bob and I planned to go to SFMOMA today and didn’t change our plans.  We felt a bit like we were sneaking out when we weren’t supposed to.  The first sign of the virus was the empty BART parking lot.  At 10:30 at least a third of the parking lot was empty.  That never happens on a weekday.  On the train, I noticed there were no gray hairs, except ours of course.  When we got to the Art Museum, there was no one in the entry plaza.  It’s never been empty before.  But we forgot all about the virus when we entered the wonderful show of photographer Dawoud Bey.  He’s an African-American photographer about the age of our kids.  His work was beautiful, inspiring and very respectful of his subjects.  We went on a docent-led tour and learned more about him and his work.  He photographed people in Harlem, beautiful portraits of ordinary people.  He respectfully asked their permission and gave them the Polaroid print from his very large camera.  He kept the negative and could make prints from it.  I was very taken with his portraits of teens from a variety of high schools.  He asked each one to write about who there were.  The results of their statements and the engaging photographs was stunning.  My favorite was a young Muslim with a white prayer cap.  He asked rhetorically in his statement what people see when they see him?  He thought people would first see him as black.  I didn’t see that.  Then he wondered what color his soul was?  What a profound question!  After spending time with the photographs, we went to have lunch in the 5th floor cafe, like we always do.  The usually crowded cafe was totally empty.  Gone was the cheerful greeter who handed us the menus we could peruse while standing in line.  Usually, there’s a crush on tables.  It was shocking.  The waiter said its been like this for more than a week.  I worried about the workers who were laid off.  Think about this all over the world!  Low income workers, coming to work, if they’re lucky and if they’re not, being laid off without pay.  It was weird eating in the empty dining room and the spectre of the virus came close again.  It’s a very tense and strange time.  No one knows what will happen.  Everyone seems to be taking the threat very seriously.  I refuse to be afraid or self-quarantined by fear of this unseen scary threat when we are healthy.

Exponential Growth and Popcorn

I’ve been trying to wrap around my brain why all the public health officials/media are putting out such urgent messages about the Coronavirus.  There are so few cases in the Untied States.  Even though California is now one of the centers of the outbreak, there are fewer than 100 people with the disease here.  Then I thought of a pot of popcorn.  You know how it pops: at first nothing, then just one lone kernel pops, then after a little while one or two more; then it starts, and bam, bam, bam, and all of sudden there’s an explosion of popcorn popping.  I don’t know if this example exactly fits exponential growth requirements, but to my mind, it is a good image for how an epidemic spreads.  At first there are very few with the disease, then a few more, then it doubles, but still there are still very few cases.  The public health officials are trying to limit the spread of the virus before it hits the mad popping stage where it gets out of control.  I appreciate that.  I wash my hands.  Here, now the SF Symphony and the SF Opera have cancelled performances until March 20.  Stanford has cancelled all face to face classes.  Now Stanford students take their classes on-line.  I’m waiting to Cal to do the same.  Still, I don’t fear catching the disease.  I will take all precautions, avoid sick people and take my chances.

Fear

People are afraid.  Afraid of catching this Coronavirus.   I saw a woman at the gym using a Kleenex to punch in the code for her locker.  She told me “one can’t be too careful these days.”  I guess the careful ones are the ones we don’t see, the ones that aren’t going to places where the virus could spread easily.  Sunday at church, I was the greeter and didn’t shake hands with anyone, instead bumped elbows to say Welcome.  The virus is close.  Someone in Berkeley has it and is in self-quarantine.  Someone died yesterday in Rocklin, near Sacramento.  He came down with the virus while on a cruise ship that docked in San Francisco.  The virus is around.  When I hear someone is sick, I wonder, do they have “it”?  I haven’t seen people panicked enough to buy up all the food in the stores.  I do wonder how fearful people really are.  It all seems a panic caused by too much media coverage.  But then can there be too much when we just don’t know about this virus?  I am washing my hands more often than I usually do.  I am trying not to touch my face.  I am not getting close to other people.  But so far I haven’t curtailed my activities.  There are just a handful of people with the virus in the whole state of California and more than 40 million people live here.  What’s the chance of catching it?

Coronavirus

This week, the news has been centered around the first pandemic in my lifetime, the Coronavirus.  The stock market has dropped precipitously, going down 12% in just one week.  The first American has died from it.  There are now cases right here in the Bay Area that aren’t traceable to contact from Asia or Italy or Iran.  Bob has had some strange symptoms this week, which made me fear he was getting a cold or the flu.  So I began in my head to imagine a 2-week quarantine for both of us.  People are nervous.  This week our gym has been nearly empty.  A gym would be a good place to transmit a virus.  I mentioned it to a trainer and she said “Oh, it’s probably the warm weather.”  Maybe.  Maybe not. Very concerning too is how our President has made the coronavirus political.  He said the stock market fell because of the Democratic Primary Debate.  Fat chance.  He said the virus is blown out of all proportion by the Democrats.  No, it’s the World Health Organization that’s putting forth bulletins and now calling it a pandemic.  Our President has dismantled most of our government’s agencies that deal with issues like this.  It is scary.  But once again, music has been my balm.  I went to the San Francisco Symphony last night.  Our in-coming new conductor and music director was conducting.  I didn’t know what to think about Esa-Pekka Salonen.  The music critic from the San Francisco Chronicle, Joshua Kosman, has been singing his praises in three recent articles.  I wasn’t familiar with the pieces in the program.   The opening piece was a short Overture by Beethoven.  It was almost like a delightful musical joke but played with ardor in the huge dynamic contrasts.  The second piece was the Salonen Violin Concerto played by Leila Josefowicz.  Wow!  I’ve never heard such difficult virtuosic music played and played so well.  The solo violin started the piece and the orchestra followed her theme.  There was so much energy, I thought it was manic in places, but fully amazing.   Salonen had written the piece in 2009 for the MacArthur Fellowship winning soloist and their connection was very evident throughout the playing of the piece.  But for me, the best was last: Nielsen’s 5th Symphony.  Salonen is a very energetic conductor waving his arms around almost wildly.  When I could see his face, I was amazed by the intensity of his expressions.  The Symphony was a study in contrasts, perhaps it was between light and dark or good and evil, but in any case between lyrical and chaotic, between soft and very loud.  I loved the snare drums in the first movement, their sound moving away as Jacob Nissly (the percussionist) moved to the balcony to play.  I loved the fugues in the second movement.  I came away filled with beautiful music, so happy and full of life once again.  I think the orchestra played with more passion than I’d ever heard it play.  Now I look forward to this new conductor.  And riding the crowded BART car home and sitting in the crowded Symphony Hall, I noticed once again how easy it would be for a virus to spread among us crowded social beings.  In the meantime, I am grateful for music and Nature that sweep me up and take me away from the problems of our world.  And meanwhile Bob still has a gravely voice, he doesn’t seem otherwise sick.