Christmas Wonder

The anticipation has been building all month for the Big Day.  The children have their Advent calendars with little gifts tied on to be opened one each day.  The adults have all the preparations — the Christmas cards to write, the shopping, getting gifts for each person, sending off gifts to friends and family far away, the planning of menus for each day, the laying in of supplies and the preparations of the house.  The children and grandchildren finally arrive.  Christmas Eve and Christmas are the most exciting days.  We have developed quite a few traditions.  We go to the Family Service at church Christmas Eve, then return for a big dinner.  This year, Justin, Arne’s best man, joined us for our spaghetti dinner.  Justin is like an energizer enzyme bringing out animated conversation and laughter in everyone.  The children watch a DVD —this year “Home Alone”—-to pass the time and escape the adults sitting too long at the table before going to bed on the longest night of the year.  Bob and I sneak out to go to the 10 PM Christmas service at church for some Christmas music and candlelight.  Some time in the late night, Santa Claus arrives fills the stockings hung by the fireplace and leaves gifts under the tree.  (S)he eats the cookie and gingerbread house left out for him and writes a sweet note of thanks to the children.  Christmas morning finally arrives.  Another tradition is for Paula, our master chef,  to make fresh cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning.  As we eat our big breakfast, the children grow antsy with anticipation for all presents.  Their excitement and great joy infuse us all with happiness.  There is such a big pile of presents under the tree.  We start slowly, opening the gifts one at a time, all of us watching.  Then it inevitably turns into a frenzy of tearing the paper off.  The adults struggle to maintain a bit of order.  Afterwards, all of us tired from all the excitement wander off to do our own thing: the children play with their new toys, there’s the restorative naps and Paula takes a long long walk or run.  Another tradition is a visit from dear long time family friends, Nancy and Larry.  As the sun sets early, before 5, some of us gather together again, this time in the kitchen as preparation begins for the Christmas dinner.  This is one of my favorite times.  The smell of roast beef cooking makes us all hungry again and reminds me of my childhood.  I love the way people come in to help.  We sit down together to enjoy our delicious dinner of roast beef, popovers, roasted potatoes, peas and horseradish sauce.   We’re all too full for dessert.  At this meal, we say grace and I find it is nice to have a moment to reflect on our Christmas blessings.

The day after Christmas, Erik, Paula and Paul, Karna and kids went into San Francisco, leaving Bob and me a bit of quiet time.  We worked together to create order and then rested in the quiet to restore our depleted energy.  As I sat in quiet, I began to wonder about the meaning of what we all had experienced.  Since my childhood, I have tried to live my life with simplicity and these days aren’t very simple.  I think it’s harder for adults to find simplicity than it is for children.  It was hard to step back and observe with the days so full of excitement and so many people crowded together into our house.  Like Mary, I want to ponder this time in my heart.  I want to remember all the special moments with those I love.  I want to wonder at the mystery of the season.  It is so hard to see clearly and deeply.  I wonder what it is we give each other by our presence?  I wonder what the impact of our words and actions are on each other?  I wonder if our intentions are perceived by others?  I wonder what it means that we celebrate Christmas and what we are teaching our children and grandchildren about what is really important.  Most of all, I want to remember everything and take not a single thing for granted because these are very special times.